Pool’s open, Skin cancer, Be careful

Memorial Day weekend began in earnest Friday. It was obvious to those who live in a tourist area – especially near a beach area. Up here in the North East we do not have beaches, we have a shore. So that’s where the flocks gather during warmer weather for weekend getaways.
I have never been to the Jersey shore. I am sure it is nice but I am too spoiled to the warmer water and broader beaches of the Gulf Coast, not to mention free access to public beaches and much smaller crowds. I may check it out during the week this summer. Mama would like that.
I love the ocean, but I tend to avoid going to the beach and to pools for that matter. Mostly because of the way people are underdressed. My father told me years ago that most people looked better with cloths on. As an anesthesiologist he had seen enough bodies in surgery to make that statement with a degree of authority. Go to any pool or beach area (fresh water or salt water) and you are unlikely to prove him wrong.
It is the exceptions to that rule that people often go to see. I am uncomfortable around women in general. I am very uncomfortable around women who dress as many women do at the water’s edge. In a situation where I should be enjoying the scenery it is unpleasant to look around and be embarrassed by what I see, or worse, what I catch myself looking at.
On the health front we need to be very aware that skin cancer is a very real threat – especially to our children. As parents and grandparents we need to be, as a friend of mine called his wife, “sunscreen Gestapo’s”. Since most sunscreen lotions offer very good protection against sunburn it is an easy solution in both the short term (minor burns) and long term (skin cancer).
Be on the lookout for reactions to any particular lotion used on a child. It is reasonable to think that there can be such reactions. If a rash or some other reaction occurs, test another brand of lotion. Also, bring cover ups of some sort, even the best sunscreens wear off and have to be reapplied more often that most children want to take the time for a conscientious parent to do so.
I usually stay covered up – long sleeved shirts and a towel over my legs – when out of the water. I also try to limit my time to twenty minutes of full sun before I retreat. I have been burned way too often. One time on the black sand beaches of western Guatemala, my brother’s and I blistered so badly it took many days to heal. I do not remember being out there that long, but my skin did. I will never forget the discomfort.
Have fun. Be careful.

Overdoing it, Recovery

On the way home from Arkansas it was obvious to me that we had attempted to do too much when we were there for a visit. The most tell-tale sign for me was how much we slept. Mama and my son slept for most of the three hour drive to Memphis to make our plane connection and I slept through both of the flights, which is very rate for me.
When we got home Mama got sick with the typical sore throat – which comes from the dry air on the plane – but went on to develop a low-grade fever. She took some Nyquil and went to bed early but I had suggested that if she woke up too early she should take another dose and I would take care of her normal morning errands.
She woke me up about 1 a.m. to tell me she had passed out in the kitchen and her head was hurting. I had only been asleep a couple of hours do I was groggy and slightly irritated. (Terrible, huh?) But I got up and looked in the kitchen to see if anything was broken or needed to be cleaned up. All was okay there so I went back to see if I could more clearly understand what had happened.
It turns out that when she passed out she hit her head hard enough on the kitchen floor to leave a small blood spot on the flooring. She had deftly missed both rugs we placed on the floor after we moved into the apartment – because the floor is so cold. And she had laid there for several minutes before she came to. I got her some aspirin and water and helped her get comfortable. We went back to bed, to a troubled sleep, for several hours.
Now three days later she is starting to recover. She has been sore in her back, neck and head for a long three days. She is not sick very often and after it is all over I will have to get an honest appraisal of whether I have been too intolerant – we men tend to get that way I am told.
Compared to my granddaughter’s tumble into the muck on the edge of the pond where we were fishing, Grammy’s (That’s my wife.) tumble has been a bigger concern, but she is on the mend.
Maybe I can regroup now and check to see if the mud bath effected my granddaughter’s desire to go fishing with Papi (That’s me.) again.
My interview on Wednesday went very well, but how much can be said in a thirty minute interview. I was promised that I would be called within the next two weeks whether it was to set up a face-to-face interview or to be told I was not a candidate for the position. I cannot ask for more than that.
Soon I will take my wife on a real vacation, where we have no urgent plans, where we relax, where we are not working doing all the running and all the planning, but that may be a long time away from us. Someday.

Hybrids, Sons-in-law

We got back yesterday from our trip to Hot Springs. The original plan was to attend our daughter's wedding, instead my wife met our new son-in-law for the first time on their one month anniversary. That is another story in itself.
Since we had free tickets to fly round trip on Airtran, we had to fly into Memphis, TN and travel from there by car to Hot Springs. It is only about three hours driving time between the two destinations. Not too bad. So we rented a car to make the trip.
We were given a new Nisan Altima Hybrid. I asked if there was anything I needed to know about the car and the salesman simply said, “It's quiet.” I was a little surprised but as it turned out that was the staggering difference with this car to any other vehicle I had driven.
When we got loaded and were about to hit the road I was not sure if the car was running and it has no key to insert and turn, only a button to press. So I pressed the button and all the dash lights went out. I honestly could not tell any difference between running and not running except that the lights were no longer lit.
So I hit the button again and the dash lights came on. I put the car in gear and pressed the accelerator and we drifted a few inches. The engine was not running. So I put the car back in park and pushed the button again and moved the gear selector to the drive position and pressed the accelerator. This time we jumped forward. The car was now running. I could not tell but it obviously was running. Off we went.
About an hour down the road we stopped to stretch and use the bathroom. We got an ice cream cone at the McDonald's where we had stopped and got back into the car. I pressed the button and the lights came on but once in gear I knew the car was not running. So we got out the owners manual and read the quick guide. I then learned that like most cars I have ever driven where it is required that the brake be pressed to put the car into gear, in our rental, the brake must be pressed for the car to be given permission to start. Starting, with this hybrid, engaged the electric motor which made no sound that I could tell, so I put the car in gear and it really was running. We had very few problems after that other than Mama and my son wanting to test the speedometer since it was ranged up to 180 mph.
Would I ever own one now that I have driven one? Probably, but not one that small.
For some reason, I am now struck by the fact that I am a father-in-law. With my first daughter's marriage, it seemed a natural outcome of a very circumspect and proper courting relationship between my daughter and the man she married. We had a fair amount of time to work our way into the newly developed relational hierarchy.
With this marriage, it was more of a rush and having met the man only once before the marriage took place it was not nearly so comfortable. As I said, my wife did not meet our new son-in-law until they had been married a month so he will have to excuse us as a pair of old fogies gets used to the idea. I am sure it will grow on us.
I am happy for our daughter and her husband and I wish them the best. I will pray for them accordingly.

Fishing, Family, The cost of quality time is quantity of time

We got to visit a family who lives on a fifteen acre farm with a one acre pond. If it were in Texas I would call it a tank since that would be proper terminology for the area, but since we are in Arkansas, I will call it a pond. The pond is loaded with bluegill and catfish and we got to catch them with such ease that it almost felt like cheating.
These catfish are fed a special floating fish food so when the catching slowed down we tossed some food onto the water and here they came. We were out there fishing for a couple hours and managed to catch more fish than I had seen caught in almost a decade. Shame on me!
For those of you who might be offended, all fish we caught were safely released back into the pond. It killed me to do so, but we were not set up to cook and eat them so we will have to go back when we are able to catch and eat.
As with all family fishing adventures, I spent a good deal of time getting tangles out of lines. It never ceases to amaze me how fishing line can get such a complicated tangle instantly. I could not twist and loop the line in an hour and get the complication that it alone can do in a single instant.
It is one of those times when it is nearly impossible not to draw a comparison to life in general. I am sure there are physics involved in the tangle – stress and twist on the line, the angle and force of the cast, etc. But in the real lives of my children I think of how easily they can get themselves into a “tangle.” Whether it is a financial, relational, or emotional tangle it seems to happen so quickly and take such a long time to finally undo. But as with fishing, they are impossible to avoid so when they do happen we focus on the need, the solution and individual until it is repaired or undone. Then we let them cast again – hoping to live at least a little time before the next tangle must be undone.
One of the family members is a special needs individual. He would simple say, “I got a tangle.” And I would lay down my pole and untangle the loops, free the line and he would recast. He caught his fair share of fish along with the rest of us, but I get the feeling that he was more focused than the rest of us. I sometimes wish my children would be as quick to recognize the need for help. A tangle is easier than a knot to undo.
I caught a five pound cat but it shook itself free of the line at the bank so we didn’t get a picture of the fish on the line. What we did get was a picture of the fish at the bank, mouth open, splashing, being pursued by Belle, the family dog. Belle checked out every fish caught, snapping at the wriggling bounty as the kids struggled to free the fish without giving the dog a live toy.
It was great fun. It is always gratifying to see the kids and grandkids so excited doing something that occupies such focus at such a small cost. It was one of those quality moments that comes only with sufficient quantity of time spent together – well worth the cost.

Grandkids, preacher boys, Peeking

As we arrived in Hot Springs, church had already started. We were about twenty-five minutes late, but our children had saved us a spot. On the platform was a young boy. He looked to be about twelve. He was one of the six preacher boys that were to speak that night. What a pleasure to hear these youth do their best to practice what they had seen in and heard from the pulpit and now had studied to present. It was truly delightful.
The church here has a club/class of young boys that are exploring a call to preach. They are trained, coached and then given opportunity to practice what they have learned. Some of the twelve to fifteen year-olds had preached as much as seven times. What a great opportunity.
The grand kids arrived in the very early a.m. after traveling all night. They were rested and revved up – me and Grammy, not so much. But those who have grandchildren will understand that we met their exuberance with equal enthusiasm. I do believe grandchildren keep your focus on youth. Ours is long ago spent and theirs, at the age of ours, is still ahead. We will expend ourselves to share as much as possible with them and in so doing share our experiences and add ourselves into their lives as best we are allowed. For now it is tremendous fun.
My daughter and son-in-law brought me a Bible of the same type that was stolen from me earlier this year. It was a great surprise. We went over to the book store associated with the college to look for a bible cover to protect my new bible and while there I thought I should use the bathroom rather than tie up the only one at Grandma’s house.
While in there a couple of vey young boys came in needing to use the pot. I was already there so it really bothered the youngest. He was probably four years old. He asked “Who are you? I answered “Just me.” “But who are you?” “I’m just me.” “Do I know you?” I don’t think so” (I had thought it would be more private to use the bathroom here than at Grandma’s. Obviously not!)
When he could not place my voice he decided it would easier to find out what was going on if he just crawled into the stall with me. “I don’t know you at all.” No you don’t and you are being naughty, besides the fact that you crawled on a very dirty floor under the door to get in here.”
At this point he was very puzzled. “Crawl back out and wait for me to finish.” “Will it be soon?” “I will hurry” So he crawled out and I finished. When I got out he walked past me into the stall and turned around and looked me very concerned. “Are you going to look?”
“No, I am not the naughty one, you are.”
Aren’t kids wonderful!

Bumpers and brake lights, 50# limit, the little things

I am not very often the passenger in a vehicle so our ride to the airport in Philadelphia was a rare opportunity for me to look around and really study the traffic as we inched along. It was bumpers and brake lights as far as the eye could see.


One of the benefits of the Northeast is the wealth of cultures found together there and the businesses established to meet the needs of those various cultural needs. You can literally find anything. It is very exciting to my wife and daughters – not so much for me.

What is excitement for the shoppers in my life is total exasperation for me. There are people from every culture in the world, speaking the language of their homeland and carrying on the traditions of their heritage; which is wonderful. The problem is that there are people, and people and more people.

I am not much on crowds, with the exception of church crowds. I love fellowship in crowds of church people. Unfortunately, most of the crowds we deal with are not church crowds. That coupled with the annoyed, abrupt (to the point of rudeness) people in this area makes large gatherings (especially on the road) exasperating for me. Having grown up in the south this has always been a culture shock for me.

Moving slowly through the traffic did make me a little glad to be flying instead of driving. But as with all things in life there are tradeoffs. The hardest tradeoff for travel by air is the limit to the luggage we can carry and the weight limit of each of those pieces. You have to understand that when we travel by car, whatever vehicle we take is packed to the max. It did not matter where we are going, who we are going to see or even the length of the stay.

I have packed a fifteen passenger van to the point that there was not room to put in an extra notebook much less another pair of shoes. This was because I traveled with six women – a wife and five daughters. Now imagine having to limit what is taken to under fifty pounds. It was difficult for my wife to condense what is essential to the space of one suitcase. It was almost upsetting for her to then have to repack to make the weight come out right.

After several attempts to bring the weight down it was decided that I would have to take less clothing to make things work. After I made the necessary adjustments we weighed the largest, most overstuffed suitcase and it weighed a little over the fifty pounds. We were both a little worried until the scale at the baggage checkpoint showed the bag to weigh 50.5#. My wife was ecstatic when the attendant let it through without any additional charge. I admit I had to smile, too.

It is the little things that either make or break us. This was one of those times when we were able to celebrate a victory, a little one, but a win none-the-less.

Misplaced focus, What we see in others, Early Swim

We have a DVD player in our little Dodge Caravan and it has been very helpful in our travels. My wife will use it while running her errands so the little one she routinely has with her can be entertained more easily. Lately the favorite movie is Monster's Inc. Her expectation, the little one that is, is that the screen be opened and the movie be playing as soon as she is in her car seat.

We have been working with her on asking properly rather that demanding; “Please” and “Thank you” instead of “I want” and “do this”. It is slow going. So when there is not the proper request, we wait until she thinks to do so properly. It takes a lot of patience because her focus – what she wants us to do – remains steadfastly unchanged. Therefore, the request is repeated over and over in the wrong way.

Those of you who have, or are around, little ones know what I mean. I have a feeling, so does the Lord. It made me think about how I ask for things I am petitioning help with. Am I like the baby, asking over and over with such a singular focus that I cannot see what is being done to prepare the answer to my need, or for that matter, what I might need to do to prepare myself for the answer to be best evidenced in my life?

I see that sometimes in my children. There are times that answering their request could be the worst response I could made. One of my daughters was well past the age where she was legally able to get a driver's license when she finally took and eventually passed the tests to get one. I was often criticized for holding her back while from my perspective, I was lengthening her life. She was not ready to drive until much later, only now does she realize that.

Just as I could see more than her, God can see more than I. I really need to give him the same latitude in my life. And remember, “No” is also an answer.

Yesterday evening we walked over to the pool area at out apartments. It is a large pool consisting of five large intersecting and overlapping rectangles. With us were the little one, her older brother and another young boy we watch for a short while after school. At first they were careful and laid down poolside to put their hands in the water since it is far too cold for the pool to be open. With young ones water must be touched, it cannot simply be enjoyed by looking. Having tired of that they then began walking around the perimeter of the pool on the tile immediately above the edge of the pool. It is twelve or more inches wide and level with the pavement surrounding the pool, but we warned them to be very careful anyway. It is a lot like walking on the curb, with water instead of the street greeting a lack of balance.

So, one-by-one, in single file they walked around and around, until a quick and spontaneous change of direction sent the little one over the edge and in to the water. Her brother got her out very quickly and no harm was done, but she was freezing since the water temperature was about sixty-five degrees fahrenheit.

What was our response? “Didn't we tell you to be careful?” etcetera, etcetera, etcetera! A quick change of cloths and a little time with the hair dryer and she was laughing about the whole thing.

Oh that my little “plunges” were that easy to fix!

So that you know, we finally got underway working out with the bank to clear up the residual left from the short sale. It will not be easy, but it will work out fine. Doesn't it usually?

Babies and Body odors, Xylitol (Sugar Alcohols), Needless destruction

A few months ago when we were visiting the grandkids and our grandson was interactive but non-verbal, I realized that I had eaten some chips that if I were talking to an adult, I would have been careful to keep my distance. As I held him and talked to him it was clear that he was not enjoying it as much as I was. When I realized what might be causing it, I chewed a piece of gum and picked him up again. He seemed to enjoy it much more.


When I got back home and the little one we usually watch came running to me, my suspicion was confirmed. I picked her up and kissed her and she snapped back from me and said, Cafecita, Papa Tim?” I had just finished a cup of coffee. Since then I have tried to be careful when talking and working with any child. I would hate it if their impression of me was the bald man with bad breath. I might still be loved, but from a safe distance.

The same thought passed through my mind as I watched some small children pass through the crowd at church. It is awful, but I thought they are just the right height to get blasted if anyone is having bowel issues. I am not sure if they would notice because body odors have not been formalized in their memories as noxious or taboo yet. They merely observe and report.

At home we are trying the use of some sugar alcohols that are used industry-wide as non-caloric sweeteners. Xylitol and erythrytol are the two we keep in the house because my wife is supposed to be greatly limiting her sugar intake and I like to avoid the calories. There is a problem with their use.

For me xylitol causes severe diarrhea. In the other members of my household, it causes gas – a lot of gas. My son is really sensitive to it so I like to sneek it into a glass of hot tea and laugh at the consequences since he is very self-conscious. He wisely avoids it. My wife still tries to use it with differing results.

On a recent occasion she was having some gas discomfort. When she got out of her chair, the little one we watch was flopping from couch to chair and back. On one face-plant into the chair my wife had vacated, she stopped abruptly, looked at my wife and announced, “Smells like poo poo!” My wife nearly fell over laughing. Which the baby thought was delightful.

On a slightly negative side of normal children my wife and I have been babying an amaryllis for several years. We started with one bulb in the container. We now have three. There were two flower stalks only days away from opening into the huge beautiful orange flowers it has given us for the last three years or more. This morning, as I go home from work (5:30.a.m.) I noticed that the flower stalks had been ripped off of the plant and thrown into the parking lot nearby.

I did not have the heart to tell Mama, who was awake when I got into bed. I knew it would ruin her morning. She was very excited about the blooms since we have no yard, no garden, no flowerbeds, etc.

When I got up she confirmed my suspicions. Last night there had been some rowdy children running through the breezeway outside our apartment. I suppose it presented too easy a target. It is only a flower, but it was disappointing.

None-the-less, I would not trade blooms for having children around. But I will watch more closely from now on

Choosing dinner, The other shoe

We have accumulated at least forty menus in the control room where I work. At any given time there are three or more supervisors working the consoles. So when it comes to ordering out – since we are not able to leave – it is always fun for me to watch. I rarely participate but I enjoy complicating the discussion as the most important topic of the day is batted around.


When I worked in a plant in South Charleston, WV the lunch discussion began around 7.am. Seriously, it took that long for the four or more people ordering to agree on the type of food to be ordered (Italian, American, Mexican, Chinese, and so on), the place to order from, and how to collect the necessary cash to pay the delivery person – tip included.

Here it is not so complicated, but the discussion is almost as much fun. I have found it is fairly easy to settle in on what type of food to order, the real fun is who to order from. One bad portion, one bad meal, one bad memory can cause a particular menu to be totally discounted. Shift workers have big appetites and long memories.

Tonight it is buffalo chicken subs with chunk blue cheese and mozzarella on a toasted bun. I will eat what I brought. It will be easier on both my waist and my wallet. I am not being cheap, only careful. I will be on vacation next week and I always seem to gain unwanted, difficult to shed, uncomfortable pounds when I am away from home. I think it has to do with the unwritten rule that overeating is a “right” while on vacation. It is as if the food we eat when we travel does not have the same caloric value or fat content as the food we eat at home.

When I got to work today the supervisor I was relieving gave me the message I have been anticipating. The other shoe has fallen. It seems that the bank called four times this morning. He finally told the forth person that he was capable of delivering a simple message and they need to stop calling. I understand his frustration and I appreciate his handling of the matter.

I am anxious to bring the whole matter to a close. I am convinced that the Lord will bless me with both wisdom and supply as we make this right with the bank. I have to smile when I think that I made special arrangements to have my tithe and Faith Promise checks put in the available offering envelope while we were cleaning the church today - before I came to work. Since I will not be in church tomorrow, I wanted to make sure it was taken care of rather than expect my wife to take care of it. I like to keep short accounts on the promises I make to God.

In the movie The Thirteenth Warrior, when the final battle is imminent and the small band of Vikings must face horrific odds without the help of their leader who is sick from a previous encounter with the enemy, one of the combatants laments the shortfall of leadership and manpower, to which his comrade responds, “It is a small matter.” So it is with the finalizing of the short sale of our home. We will get through this, but it’s nice to have God’s help.

The Pout-Pout Fish (by Deborah Diesen), Mama’s Voice, Vacation preparation

My wife has always read books to the children in her care. During the many years of raising our seven children she read and reread her way through many dozens of books. Now most of the reading is done for the children she watches (just prior to nap time) and for the grandkids (via Skype).

One of the books that have recently caught the attention of my wife and daughter, as well as many of the teachers at our small Christian school, is the Pout-Pout fish by Deborah Diesen.

It is about an unhappy fish that spreads his unhappiness to everyone around him as they try very hard to cheer him up. Nothing works. No argument convinces him until the Kiss-Kiss fish shows up. Her kisses change his entire world view and transform him into a happy, affectionate, Kiss-Kiss fish. There is a wonderful illustration of the transformation of the pout to a smile. It always makes the kids looking at the picture laugh as my wife’s voice changes to reflect the happy mood.

I have not told my wife but the book sort of mirrors our own lives. I was very much like the Pout-Pout fish when she met me. She was, and still is, the Kiss-Kiss fish in my life. Our children have always wondered why I take every opportunity to hug and kiss my wife – often to their great embarrassment. It is because I remember who I was as opposed to who I now am.

I love telling stories to children, captivating their imaginations and painting pictures with words and expressions, seeing how they get absorbed in the situation of the adventure I am trying to share with them. But I really love to see and hear my wife reading to children. When she does, it is my turn to get lost in the story; to get lost in her voice. What a love for books it has created in so many little hearts.

Right now we are preparing to travel to Hot Springs to visit our children there – five of them to be exact. We were supposed to be giving one of our daughters away in marriage on this trip, but the bride and groom decided to move the date up by a month. So we will just be doing a reception for them in celebration of the wedding now a month past.

It will be the first time my wife and have flown together in some time. My youngest son will be traveling with us, but like many of my children, flying is “old hat” to him so there is very little excitement there. But, for us, it is always fun to get ready to go on vacation. The packing, planning and more than usual liberality in spending, make it an exciting time. This year the Lord really planned our finances in a great way so that we have enough money to make the trip without the use of credit cards or the burden of worry.

We have not made any big plans for our time there and we do not plan on spending much once we are there. The really big plan is simply to be there; all of us together, our seven children, two grandchildren and our two sons-in-law, along with Grandma and Grandpa (my wife’s parents) and the dog. Fun is ahead and this Kiss-Kiss fish is looking forward to it!

CVS vs Rite Aid, Listening

The other day before I left for work I went to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription my wife had dropped off for me. As I walked up to the counter a man made eye contact with me and asked to help. I gave him my name and told him I had just called to make sure the order was ready. He looked in the “ready” area, then in another and could not find it. Then he went to the compute to check. Turns out I had not gotten a prescription from them in four years. Only then did I look up and realize I was in Rite Aid. My prescription was at the CVS pharmacy across the street.

I paid attention to the instructions my wife had given me; however, I did not follow through very well. Like so many other times in my life, I took good instructions and then made too many assumptions. That, or I simply did not pay attention – I am on my night rotation so attention is at a premium.

My daughter and granddaughter were “pertendering” this morning - so they switched roles. Just to make sure what was going on my granddaughter asked, “So you are me and I am you?” “That's right, mommy now daughter answered. To add to the field of play, my son-in-law was assigned to the role of mommy's best friend.

So daddy, now the pretend best friend, asked a question that mothers of young kids ask each other. “How are your kids this morning?” To which my granddaughter, now mommy answered in her saddest sigh, “They are so fussy!”

Talk about careful listening.

The empty page, Conversation, Prayer Partners

Perhaps the most threatening thing to an aspiring writer is the expanse of an empty page. What do I say? How do I say it? Will anyone care? These are daunting questions. Perhaps they were even more overwhelming when a writer literally had to write – as with pen and paper. Here, electronically, it is much easier. We can insert a forgotten thought, cut and paste from one electronic source to another, spell check and revise to our hearts content. But there is still the task of organizing rational, worthwhile thoughts and communicating them clearly.


My wife and I sat together the day before yesterday and hashed out how we were going to pray about our increasing desire to relocate. With the long string of setbacks it was imperative I get my prayer partner on board with me and, as it turned out, equally important that I get on board with her. We both want the same thing, but for vastly different reasons.

I am the type of persons who reasons out my thoughts long before expressing them. My wife, on the other hand, is one who struggles to express herself and worries over not doing so clearly enough. The fact that she is almost always happier than I am may lend credibility to her approach to confrontation/expression in general – do not over-plan what you are going to say, just express what you can and hope for the best. It takes more time but it almost always works.

Her favorite expression is, “You know what I mean!”, and I usually do but it is great fun to watch her push past the lack of words and tackle the thought from another direction. Fortunately, neither of us needs to have an idea spelled out with definite clarity. It is more fun to see it develop over the course of our conversations. After all, conversation should not be a competition. We both win if we understand the heart of the person we are conversing with.

When my wife and I pray together about something, especially something we have discussed and defined, we see more of an answer. She sees parts of the answer that I do not see. In turn, I see parts of the answer that she does not see. As we pray and study together we see a clearer picture of how much God is working in our lives; a more honest picture than I can see on my own.

Which brings me back to the empty page. I wrestled with what to write tonight, because things are happening in our lives (our prayers are being answered) but nothing is formalized enough to mention. We have a subdued excitement as we begin to see God working out the answers to our prayers. It is more from a sense of expectation than it is from a definite conclusion to the matter.

After all, real prayer is merely having a conversation with God. As we struggle to put into words the thoughts we need to express to him it helps reveal to us the needs of our lives and those around us as well as the desires of our hearts. I know he listens to me. My most difficult question remains, am I listening to Him?

Dr.’s Appointments, Waiting for the shoe to fall, Learning about sleep

I had a doctor’s appointment today to get an evaluation of a pain I have had in my left shoulder. It has been there for months but only recently has made it difficult for me to put on a shirt or jacket without quite a bit of pain.


I was worried that I t might be a rotator cuff problem though I could not think of a circumstance or injury that might have caused it. I was relieved that my doctor’s evaluation is that is only bursitis. (That’s old people talk for joint pain.) That does not lessen the pain but it greatly simplifies the treatment. Attention to diet and addition of a couple well-chosen herbs will fully correct the problem. I am relieved. I must admit to a little disappointment, though. Shoulder surgery would have put me off work for several weeks. No such luck.

On another front there is not so much relief. I am anxiously waiting for the other shoe to fall. With the sale of the house and the resulting loss to the bank, I feel certain there is coming a reckoning. But I have made several calls trying to start the settlement process only to be assured that things are being sorted out. I do make sure each call is reported so there is no assumption that I have dodged my responsibilities, but I am still a little anxious about the delay.

I should be celebrating the long delay and I am thankful that I have had some time to rearrange my finances, but each month brings new insight that there is not as much money to work with as I had originally imagined there would be. Optimism and math have met in my budget and math has thoroughly trumped my hopes of a quick financial recovery.

In my courses of study I am now reading about sleep. It has been quite insightful. I am immediately drawn to think about my daughter and son-in-law as I learn about sleep deprivation and the consequences of building up a large “sleep debt”. Though I have read about it in the past, the book I am now reading is very in-depth.

My daughter is a pregnant mother of two and my son-in-law is working a long stretch of nights on patrol. My granddaughter (two plus) and grandson (one plus) are very well rested; their parents not so much. It sometimes seems an impossible situation for them and I am not sure how to help from a distance, but I am sure there is a solution. We’ll just have to be clever enough to find it.

The clear message is that for those of you young people out there, if you are sleepy during the day – dosing during classes or meetings, feeling sleepy every time you sit still – you are sleep deprived. Almost all of us need at least eight hours of sleep per night. Less than that will require an hour-for-hour payback at some point.

My advice (maybe I will even follow it), turn off the television and go to bed at a decent hour. Years ago I asked a ninety-two year old man what was the secret of his sharp mental focus. He told me it was getting enough sleep. When I asked how he made sure he got enough sleep, he said, “I don’t go to be bailing hay.”

What he was saying was that whatever was left unfinished would wait until tomorrow. Night time was for sleeping rather than watching television. Daytime was for working. For me right now it means that the bank will contact me when they are ready. Until then I need to be a good steward of what I have been given, including my time.

Cabela's and Campers

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We spent a very pleasant day over at Cabela's in Pennsylvania. I have not adopted the local idiom of referring to Pennsylvania as Pennsi. Nor have I adopted calling an avenue an ave, or for that matter, referring to New York City as “The City”. It is part of the Texan rebel in me and the many years of my mother's instruction in language to keep us from imitating the local dialect as we grew up among the “drawl” of south Texas.

Anyway, we went to look at campers prior to going to Cabela's. We are toying with the idea of getting back into RV'ing. There may be the possibility, depending on location, of living in a camper for several months to a year while we save money for a permanent dwelling. Where that location is is still a matter of prayer and much discussion.

The little one was with us which gave us an immediate idea of just how child-friendly each of the different models were. Plus, it is always eye-opening to do things like that with a little one to see how they react to the placement of drawers, doors and electronics.

In one camper she picked up a controller and started pushing buttons. We panicked. Okay, I panicked. It turned out to be the controller that inflates the mattress in the sleeper sofa we were sitting on, I can only imagine what shape the sofa would have taken if we had not stopped her pretty quickly.

We ate lunch at our favorite restaurant – Wendy's. There is a Cracker Barrel in the immediate area but I tend to see those as good bathroom stops when we are traveling. We rarely ever eat there. Our pastor almost stopped breathing when I told him we went to Wendy's rather than Cracker Barrel. But it is hard to beat two bucks to feed the baby.

Cabela's is a great place to stroll around. It is impossible to see everything there in one trip, so it is best to go with an objective. My objective was fishing rods and reels and crossbows. Last time I was there, I was looking at kayaks and one-man fishing crafts. I always find what I am looking for and so much more.

Plus there is such a wonderful variety of stuffed animals from polar bears and Arctic foxes to elephants and alligators. My personal favorite is the safari area with lions on the hunt, but I also like the black bears challenging one another over a moose. It is a fun few hours. It was too much for the baby who fell asleep in the shopping cart which gave Mama some time to look at the more feminine offerings at the store.

It was a long day and we were all three tired when it was done – especially since it is an hour-and-one-half drive each way. It is a trip we have to make a full plan for, but I always enjoy it. The good news, we spent no money. I walked away wanting to spend about twelve hundred dollars, but I walked away. Not only is that cheaper, it is wiser since I did not go planning to buy, only to shop.

It is better to start shopping and doing your research while there is no money to make the purchase, translate that, when you are broke. Right now, I definitely qualify and it looks like I will be shopping for quite a while.

Cinco de Mayo, Ridiculous becoming normal, Near Death experience

Happy Cinco de Mayo!


When I arrived at work today we were met with a procedural change that borders on idiotic; another case where the ridiculous will soon become normal. So many times in life we adopt routines or develop habits that are, to say the least, less than practical. Putting on makeup or texting while driving, are examples that come quickly to mind.

With that analogy in mind, what we are being asked to do is like asking that, in certain circumstances, there be one person assigned to watch the speedometer while the driver operates the vehicle. The extra man has no ability to control the speed of the vehicle; he only watches the speedometer to alert the driver to his/her speed. It is one of those situations that the potential for irritation (of the person actually driving) is enough to warrant rethinking the application of policy.

But sometimes we have to go along to get along. I have told my kids that we are only given a finite amount of emotional energy for our life. (At least that is the way I explain it.) So, I advise them not to waste it on things that do not matter. Save your energy, your passion, or your anger for important issues in life. Pick your battles carefully. Many of them you will loose, so it is best to make sure anything you fight for or against is a worthy effort.

Loosely paraphrased, there is a simple prayer that asks; Lord, grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept those things that I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Still on the driving theme, we drove 1300 miles from Monday afternoon to Tuesday night; from central New Jersey to south-central West Virginia. A detour on the way over made us glad to have the Garmin with us. It probably saved us an hour or more of being stuck in traffic due to an accident. Well worth the money. One of the few practical toys I own.

Speaking of accidents, we were almost in one. I tend to be mindful of individuals driving rental trucks – doesn’t matter what company. By and large, many who drive these bobtail moving trucks have little or no experience operating them. Such was probably the case of the person who almost hit us Monday evening.

As we came up to an exit, the truck was in the lane to exit. I was in the right lane starting to pass the truck as it slowed to exit. A Ford truck pulling a trailer was approaching me on my left when the driver of the Moving truck decided not to finish the exit and, wanting to avoid the crash barrels attached to the guard rails, moved quickly left, back into the lane I was in.

I am sure I was in the driver’s blind spot but there was no time to do anything (shout, honk the horn, call the person a name or two) other than more left or literally get run over. I looked and saw that the driver of the Ford truck who obviously saw what was happening was slowing enough to let me squeeze over in front of him in time to avoid getting wiped out. Thank God! It would have taken both of us out as well as a few other cars. I was literally only three to four inches away from either truck.

The only thing that kept me from real panic is that I was the only one aware of what was happening. If my wife had seen what was going on, I may not have been able to concentrate through the screaming.

Mixed up words, Spoken vs written. A sound-bite culture

When speaking is a less than perfect art, as in the case of our little ones, the words get mixed up and miss-pronounced. I will try to illustrate, but for those of us who know language it is difficult to translate in reverse.

worder - meaning water

mowny – meaning money

sue gwy gwy – meaning screwdriver

get loss – meaning lip gloss

I am certain if we were not around these new talkers we would have no clue what they were trying to say, but since I understand, I do not correct the speech in most cases. Time and other speakers will make all the necessary corrections as they listen and learn.

I know from experience that if an adult that spends a lot of time around a child, they will see how effectively they themselves interact with others. As I watch my grandchildren imitate their parents expressions, it is funny beyond words. Like seeing my granddaughter stomp her tiny right foot and as forcefully as possible snap her head to the left and go “Sheesh!!” I almost fall over.

But I face a different challenge in putting words in print. When we talk face-to-face we can look at the faces of others and gauge their expressions, examine their body language, and get a visual sense of the validity, intensity and the humor of the conversation. In prose that is sadly lacking.

Even in phone conversations there are subtle inflections of tone and voice, the obvious laughter or choked-up crying that comes through the voice. There is also time to question, investigate, or dig deeper when there is a lack of understanding. Again all of that is lacking in the written word.

But without recording electronically or by video, writing is the only way to preserve a thought, a moment, or broadly communicate an idea, and some things are worth preserving, communicating, or passing along. And sadly, there is little writing going on these days. I have to exclude Facebook and Twitter and most IM's, since there is a special language used in those communications; a language I am unwilling to learn.

And it concerns me that we, as a culture, are becoming “attention deficit” in our interactions using short bursts of information, cryptic messages and one hundred character thoughts. Very little effective communication there. James Dobson said years ago, as the culture was preaching the idea “quality time” as the focus of interaction especially with our children, that there is no “quality time” without “quantity time”. All of the above mentioned forms of communication focus on expedience or convenience rather than interaction, let alone expressive communication. No quantity there and I will argue, no quality either.

We will be the losers if we let our youth get lost in the “sound bite” culture.

We are on our way to West Virginia today to meet a new baby and go to some appointments. Something not possible to accomplish electronically.  

Wanting something different, Moving, Prayer

I have been seeking to be moved (relocated) by my company for several years now. There are driving factors for this, but they are personal and will not seem important to anyone other than my immediate family. So I will reserve the right to keep them between me and God.

For a couple years I was stonewalled by my immediate management, but for the last year I have been competing against hundreds of candidates who are now on the marked due to the soft economy. Companies have closed leaving hundreds of workers displaced, some of them are very well qualified. I am good at what I do, but I am not good enough to compete against people with very specific skill sets which I may lack. Twenty years of experience at a specific job, with a particular skill set, will not place a person into a job if there is someone with ten years experience in a very similar job with the specific skill set required. Plus a twenty-year worker will usually ask for more money than a ten-year worker. You get the picture. Yesterday I got yet another “No” from the company I work for.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the needs of others and that the timing is bad, but it seems that God does His best works when I am most limited; by weakness, by fear, by discouragement, etc. I suppose I am desperate to see God work in my life in a new way. I have not lost the excitement of serving the Lord, but I am wrestling with not having the day-to-day excitement of living.

So I count my blessings:

Salvation

A strong marriage

Wonderful children – all seven of them

A great Church – Somerset Bible Baptist

A good job

Good health

Enough money to still give from the supply God has given me

And so many more.

I could go on, and you could suggest things I have not yet mentioned, but you get the point. I am blessed. I just have to pause and look around with an honest heart and open eyes.

So what I need to do is keep doing what I am doing, faithfully, carefully, conscientiously, until God gives me a different assignment. After all, “He that is faithful in in that which is least is faithful also in much..” Luke 16:10

The chorus to the song “God's Been Good” puts if very well,

“God's been good in my life

I feel blessed beyond my wildest dreams when I go to sleep each night.

Though I've had my share of hard times, by my side He's always stood,

Through it all, God's been good.”

I am bad about wanting to do something different. I love to move or at least feel like I am on the move: Planning my work and working my plan. So when I have accomplished what I have set out to do, or have been assigned to do, I look for the next move, the next assignment, the next task. It drives my wife crazy.

What I have now is enough, I just need to more with it. That alone should keep me busy.