Memory, or not

Have you ever put something away in a place where you were sure you would never forget it? And then did? I cannot count the times I have done that very thing and it is often touch and go as to whether I can remember what my reasoning was for choosing the “place I would never forget.” In fact, I am sure there are still things I have put in safe places that I have yet to rediscover. Such a moment happened to Mama yesterday.


She called me in a panic asking if I had a flyer she and Grandpa had gotten at a local feed store. As luck would have it, it was the last one they had in the store and she could not find it anywhere in the house. It spelled out the planting schedule for just about everything we wanted to put in the garden this year. She and I both remembered looking at the flyer/brochure as I was eating dinner over the weekend – or one evening last week. Since then no one has seen it. Since I trust her memory over mine (on most occasions) I told her I would look in my stuff to see if I had picked it up. I did not have it. She and Grandpa were both very disappointed.

She called me some hours later to tell me she had found it; right where she remembered putting it. It was in a booklet that she and Grandpa have been keeping on our garden – hence the reasoning for putting it there. They recorded planting and harvesting dates for our garden last year and are continuing the practice this year. She was laughing at herself over the lapse of memory and the recovery of the pamphlet. Grandpa was relieved.

On a different memory note, I have remembered events that, when I relate to Mama, she is sure never happened. She is so sure in fact that I begin to doubt myself. But as I struggle with the details of the memory (that may or may not have happened), she will suddenly remember, correct one or two minor details and refresh my memory. Making that connection is the difficult part. I feel vindicated and confused at the same time during those rare successes in cognizance.

Over the thirty plus years we have been married we have shared millions of memorable moments and each of us has a slightly different take on those occasions. I have found that if I do not get certain details correct in the recounting, she will not connect to the occurrence of the event in her cache of data. But the opposite can also be true. She can have vivid memories of which I have no recollection, at all – even when she goes into great detail. I am sure I have slept since then.

Boy, do we have a future to look forward to.

Hen party, rain and hail, extra effort

Mama and I managed to be out late last night. The church had a get together for the women and I took Mama to it since she has problems driving at night. Last night had her especially worried because of the severe storms we were getting. While I was at work yesterday we got over an inch of rain which was accompanied by marble sized hail. It was very impressive but something Mama did not want to deal with in transit.

I spent some extra time in the office as she ate and studied with friends. Each person attending last night’s function was to bring something that was made using a new recipe. Mama took some lemon cookies and a banana cake. They are studying the cults in America and what exactly makes them a cult along with a brief overview about what they believe. It is good information. A little understanding can eliminate a lot of confusion.

We did not get much of the rain at the farm yesterday but we are thankful for what we did get. At this point I think we could use about four inches a month for several months to bring us back up to some semblance of life supporting moisture in the ground. As for the tanks, they are lower than when we bought the farm over a year ago. When I look at the picture of the big pond overflowing, taken last spring, I can at least pray it will be at that level again. I am not sure if it will ever stay at that level, but I do not want to lose all hope.

In a herculean effort to help it remain at a higher level Grandpa cut out all of the creek willows that have grown on the pond dam for years. His reasoning is that each one was pulling hundreds of gallons from the pond every year. Cutting them down will stop that draw of water from the reservoir. He also worries about animals using the roots of the trees as a framework for burrows that will eventually weaken the dam. I have to agree with both ideas although they are not east to quantify.

I have developed a habit of being at work early and on many mornings I am the only one in the Decatur office for at least the first half hour. I have noticed lately that several other workers are starting to adopt my practice of getting an early start. Two of the operations bosses regularly arrive a 6:30 a.m. and I think the intent of those here as early as I am to get into place before their supervisors get here. That is a good practice. I hope it gets noticed by the people who can reward the extra effort.

I will certainly put my two cents worth in.

Answered prayer, missing out?

The Lord did answer Mama’s and my prayer to hear something from the licensing group yesterday. The information came to us after I was already home. The hiring manager was responding to an email sent out by my boss, whom I had informed that I had not heard anything since I put in my application. He is also curious for reasons of his own. This was the response:


Here's where we stand on the position:

- So far we've interviewed a handful of candidates from a list of those who had applied through early December (prior to Tim's application).

- As of yet, we have not made any offers.

- Jim is working with management to determine the number of positions we will fill this year.

- Once the above item is resolved (should be in the next few days) we will decide whether to make offers. Concurrent with that, we will evaluate the applications received between early December & now (including Tim's), and decide whether to conduct more interviews.

We should be able to give you more information sometime next week at the latest.

All I can really glean from the note is that the position is still open. There is really not much information other than that, but at least we know that much. It may not be enough to satisfy my boss who would like to make plans for the coming year and is not sure what assignments to give me based on my interest in the other job. Such is the life we lead.

On my calendar, I had set aside time this week for the interview but according to the note above that is not likely to happen – at least not on my time table. While I am looking at the convenience to me and my workload, God has entirely different plans and I always like the outcome of His plans better than mine. So we will wait. I do not have a choice there, but I do have a choice on my attitude as I wait.

After I had eaten dinner with Mama yesterday evening, I called on a tractor I saw advertized for sale on Craigslist. A very nice elderly gentleman (at least he sounded like an elderly gentleman) answered the phone and I told him why I was calling. He told me he was getting the cash put in his hand at that very moment but he was really happy that I had called. He went on to tell me he had gotten several dozen calls and that another was buzzing in as we were talking. All I could say is congratulations on the sale. I was impressed by the fact that he was so tickled by the entire chain of events. It must have meant a lot to him.

I did not have the cash to purchase the tractor so my call was for information only but we seem to have the same results when we are making a serious call on an item we do want to purchase. Grandpa refers to it as being “a day late and a dollar short” but it is generally poor timing on our part; or lack of prayer about the matter. When the right deal comes along we will have our turn. God always gives us what we need.

No rights, two less is better, Victoria is home

The big news for last week is that the mineral rights that were found and assumed to be available to us as the owners were quickly claimed by the sellers. As soon as they were discovered the sellers contacted the title company to see of the retention of all mineral rights had been written into the sales contract on the farm. It had. In fact, it was such a point of contention for me that I almost did not sign the contract when I saw that they had been written in at the last minute.


Like I had said before, the money was of little consequence to me. The avenue to protect the surface rights was the draw. Now that is gone. The fortunate part of it all is that I never signed anything to claim either the mineral rights or the money. It was an honest mistake which will be easily remedied. No harm, No foul. But it was a disappointment to me and Mama.

I did find out a lot about the property through the unfortunate happenstance and I got to talk to the person who will probably be our contact in the future when there is activity in the area. I am praying that that activity does not include drilling through our little property but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. It is a little sad that the financial jump start I thought we were given was so quickly reversed but we will make it up soon enough.

I am praying that the call from the licensing group comes today. This would be the perfect week for me to travel to Houston and points south since I will be on the road all next week. It will all work out whenever the call comes. It will work out if the call never comes. It is a relief to know that God is still in control and that all things work together for our good; especially when the circumstances cloud our vision.

As if to add to my consternation, the Training Coordinator job will be reposting. This time I will not have to do the scheduling of the interviews, nor will I have to make the selection of the persons to be interviewed. That will be done by the new Supervisor. I may be called upon to participate since I will be handing the job over to the person selected – unless that person turns out to be me.

Having not heard anything from the licensing group I am growing a little restless. I guess Maggie and I are alike in that we like to see a little further down the road than most people do. Not hearing anything at this point feels a little like rejection. If I am being rejected I would like the chance to get upset about it. So I am practicing by worrying. Strange how our minds work through problems over which we have no control.

Saturday morning Grandpa and I buried another two calves. One died on its own, the other we put down. It was a sad loss but a necessary part of raising calves in this area. The one that died had a busted chest from something that happened at his birth. The other was blind from a fever he had just after birth. Neither one was going to survive but we gave it our best effort. It is better for those we have remaining to put out the sickly ones. That does not make it easier.

Yesterday Mama and I went to Chipotle on our way to the airport to get Victoria. (It is the first time we have eaten out in quite a while; what with no extra money and all.) When we dropped Victoria off last Saturday we had a pretty bad time. I had a pretty bad time because I was worried about getting her to her flight on time and we were using it up pretty quickly be taking some wrong turns. None of us had gotten enough information on getting around the airport and I was not prepared for making the twists and turns required to make it to the correct terminal. Plus, we only found out what terminal Victoria needed to be in when we stopped to ask someone doing a curb side bag check. It was not the terminal where we made the inquiry.

Pastor Horton told us at church the next morning that it was the easiest airport anywhere. He has obviously never been to Amarillo or Pensacola. But it was much easier when we took the correct exit and knew what we needed to do to park and meet Victoria. We were walking to the baggage claim area and she came out the door a few feet from us. We were not in the airport for fifteen minutes.

It will be much easier from now on.

Fog, sickness, planting, waiting for answers, no coincidence

When I left the farm this morning the fog was very heavy. It was not until I got to the little rise on our road that I saw that if I had stretched a little I could have seen over it. It was no more than six feet high. It looked as if the car was riding on a cloud. Texas is the only stare that I have seen fog like this. It is often suspended several feet off of the ground, no more that a few feet thick; hanging like lace in the air. It was a blessing to see how this fog had wet the ground. Maybe some of that will sink in before the sun evaporates it.


Mama and Grandpa are setting out onions today. I saw when I got home last night all the seeds we had accumulated last year had been pulled out of their storage places and were being evaluated against the planting chart Mama and Grandpa had gotten at one f the local feed stores. I think we are ready for a garden this year – especially since we are all here fulltime. We have learned a lot about the area; just how well we have learned it, our gardening success or failure will tell.

I plan to take tomorrow off so I can work on the apartment. I have had ambitious thoughts of getting something done in the evenings but I am not at the stage of building that that it practical. Extra days off make up the difference and I do need to make up for some lost time when my back was hurting too badly to do what needed to be done. I think I am better now. We will see tomorrow.

Hopefully, Mama is feeling better also. Last night she stayed home because her belly was hurting pretty badly. Her head cold has begun to heal but something she ate did not agree with her. I have a feeling it was one of those times when no matter what she ate it would not have agreed with her. I do know that she missed a great sermon from one of our missionaries to Ghana.

All indications are that we are going to lose another calf. If we do it will not be for lack of trying to get him healthy. He is one of the three that Grandpa nursed through some very high fevers and strong coughs. Of those three, he has never regained his strength and yesterday he looked pretty pitiful. All of the other members of our herd seem to be doing well and we are learning new information weekly to keep them that way.

On Tuesday evening I attached the surface addendums to the lease paperwork and sent them to the land guy for review. I have not heard anything back yet. I did pray about it before I sent the package along, but I can never be sure how the additions will be received. It is in God’s Hands. I would not want it anywhere else.

Mama and I have talked about buying additional land. One place we are interested in making that purchase is in West Virginia, so I began looking. I picked out a piece of property near Norman and made the call to the realtor – whose name looked very familiar. As we spoke I asked if he was the person by that name who used to attend Ripley Baptist Temple. He replied that he is that person and he still does attend there.

I love the way God puts those things together.

Sicknesses, singing, sighing, seeing

Mama did not feel well last night. She had not felt badly through the day but she has the queen of all runny noses. When she bends over it produces a constant flow of mucus. I was genuinely impressed. Needless to say, that is not her preferred method of removing the contaminant. She prefers tissues; of which she has used two entire boxes in the past few days. She does have a bad habit of leaving the spent wads of used tissue lying about the house. Yesterday she collected them into a box. Of that content, I was really impressed.


I asked Mama last night as we were on our way to Wal-Mart what she has taken out of her diet or what she has added to it lately. I was asking because I have not heard her complain about her left knee hurting in the manner she had been up until several weeks ago. I would really like to find out if the swelling and associated pain is from something diet related or if it is a function of activity only.

We heard from one of the ladies at church Sunday night that her husband is not the best patient. He will sit and look forlornly at her and say, “Oh, I don’t feel good.” That, in and of itself, is not too overwhelming. It is the constant repetition that wears her down. He will apologize for complaining then continue. I can’t wait until he gets better so I can tease him about it; what are friends for?

With the drastic changes in temperature we are experiencing right now there are a lot of people sick. Most have a head cold or upper respiratory infection, but there are a few cases of the flu. None of the ailments are pleasant but, generally speaking, none is life threatening.

I woke up this morning singing “It will be worth it all”. Sometimes, being convinced of that truth is the only strength we can wrestle from difficult days. Fortunately, it is always enough – depending on where your focus is. A case in point, Maggie called me the other night to unload a little. She does not usually have trouble dealing with the times she is alone but that night seemed to be a little different.

She had found out that some work will be required of her to vacate the apartment once they get the news of Aaron’s future assignment. Maggie was complaining that now the “pregnant lady” has to do all this work. I assured her it was not a conspiracy to make her pregnancy difficult. It is a standard list. Mama and I have had to work off of that list on several occasions –twice when she was very pregnant.

To Maggie’s credit, I was close by Mama during all of those times but if I had not been, Mama had a wealth of friends who would gladly have helped her had she asked. As it stands, so does Maggie. She always comes around to the same conclusion during the times of feeling slighted, she needs to refocus. My mantra in life is “It is not about me.” I have tried to teach that to my children as I have tried to keep it in practice in my life. (Often I am a poor witness to my own beliefs.)

Maggie, like me, has discovered that when our focus is on us, nothing seems good enough. When I am the object of my greatest concern I begin to feel that I deserve better than I am getting. I need more than I have. I am more noble that those around me. I am more spiritual than those I look out upon. I am the only one really working hard. Though any of those thoughts may in rare instances be true, if I act upon any of them, the results are deeply damaging and always disastrous. So we started to count Maggie’s blessings; salvation, a good husband, a child on the way, etc.

Her future looks pretty bright to me…and to her.

No news, full barrels, planting plans

Sometimes no new is not good news. I suppose you could call me impatient but I have not heard anything from the Licensing group yet. It has been three weeks now but I should not be too concerned. I interviewed people for the Training Coordinator position in early December and only this week heard through the grapevine that a training supervisor has now been selected – but not officially announced. That selection is critical to the coordinator position I am looking to fill. The candidates I interviewed are really not enjoying the suspense.


Today is chocked full of meetings and we have an additional twenty or so people in the area for a major meeting on a safety initiative we started over three years ago. Meanwhile, our boss is off site in meetings with his peers and their bosses to set goals for the year. We will get most of our goals from the outcomes of that meeting. So I am not the only one who is anxious for some news – any news.

Mama and Grandpa went yesterday and bought enough feed to get us through the month. I am not sure why the urgency or push to get that done, but it makes very little difference to me if we spend the $400 in one day or over the process of two weeks. It costs the same to buy. It does save time and gas if the errands are run in one day rather than making three or four trips. So now our feed barrels are full to overflowing.

Grandpa and I bought two large round bales of good hay to put out for the calves that are on the pasture full time. We had thought about leaving the one we put in their pasture open so the calves could get to it from all sides. That idea turned out to be a bad one. The young steers burrowed their heads into the bale up to their shoulders and began shredding it almost instantly. We had to rig up a fence around it to limit their access in order to ensure they ate the hay rather than using it for bedding.

Additionally, Grandpa wanted to introduce the donkeys to the calves but that idea too, proved an error in judgment. The donkeys were interested in the fresh hay but seemed terrified of the calves. While the calves were at the hay, they stood back but once the calves filled up and went away to rest the donkeys moved in for the kill. They were worse about dismantling the bale than the calves. We had to separate them back out in order to protect our investment for the calves.

Mama and Grandpa are going to set out onions today. They too were bought yesterday. Before anything was out I wanted to know the dimensions of the garden so I got my big measuring roll and when out last night to check it out. It measured sixty by one hundred feet for the garden portion of the fenced in patch. We have decided to use the upper forty by sixty foot section for a fruit orchard.

That will give us room for about fifteen trees depending on the selections we make. We decided to move the fruit trees into the fenced area of the garden plot because the horses destroyed all but four of the fifteen or so trees we tried to get started last year. We found out too late that short trees make good belly scratchers for the horses so they bent over and otherwise trampled or broke off the entire orchard.

I am still planning on planting pecan trees in a grove with the hope of having twenty five trees. I am glad we learned before we bought any that they are not landscape or garden friendly. They need to be planted away from other trees and shrubs because they secrete a poison around their roots that will kill most other plants. They would not have worked out near the fruit trees or the garden.

The last thing we need is another way to kill our fruit trees.