Updates: Grandma and Mama, choosing right

Mama and Grandma were at the emergency room for a couple hours yesterday morning, but since the attending physician determined that there were no broken bones in Grandma’s ankle, she was sent home with the ankle wrapped. They wanted to prescribe some pain medications but Grandma has her own prescription because of the ongoing pain she has with her knees and back. It will still be a long recovery for her. The sprain will not heal quickly, and Grandma will not be able to get about other than in a wheel chair. It will be difficult for her and Grandpa for a few weeks, but they have gotten through far worse. The worst part for Grandma is that she will not be able to get out of the hose on her own for several weeks -and she is used to running all over town at the slightest excuse.

Mama’s update is a bit less encouraging. Last night as I worked with her, bending her left knee, I would guess she was not even at 85°. That is very disappointing. I am not sure what is happening, but the quad is so tight that any more bend is very painful. As tolerant as Mama is of pain, she does not seem to tolerate that pain very well. I spent a few minutes massaging the muscle and found the stiffness to be worst just above the knee. As I worked in that area, Mama was not happy with me, but I am hopeful that as we work the rigidity out of that area we will be able to get more of the bend back. I do not want to tear the muscle or the tendon by overextending the joint, but we have to be able to get the movement from somewhere in that attachment to the knee. At this point, I am not sure what to do, so we continue to work the joint as much as possible and pray. Understandably, Mama is discouraged. She goes to see the doctor next Wednesday. He will not be happy with the results either. Where we go from here, I cannot even guess.

Taking the bad with the good is often one of the markers of maturity in a person’s life. Right now, we are focused on the challenge of Mama’s difficult recovery, but there are good things happening. Whether or not Mama regains her full range of motion, she is able to walk. Her left knee will never suffer further degradation. It may not heal to the point we are expecting – although I am praying it will – but she will be able to use the leg without pain at some point in the near future. As disappointed as I am that things have not worked out as quickly as I was expecting in our personal businesses, I have job that pays our bills and allows us to give – at least part of what Mama and I want to give. We are healthy. We have a wonderful place to live. It needs some work, but it keeps us dry and comfortable regardless of the outside temperatures or weather conditions. We have an amazing church family. Incredible children and grandchildren. And so much more.

Everything we are discouraged by will soon be past. We will deal with the outcomes of those circumstances as we see them resolved, but we will not live as though those outcomes – whatever they may be – determine our state of emotional wellbeing. This course of life is only temporary. It is hard to leave a permanent mark on it, but we can enjoy the journey if we do not weigh ourselves down with those things that are subject to constant change. We cannot be an encouragement to others when we are discouraged – and being encouraging in so much more fun than being discouraging.

Matt. 6:33 says “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” “These things” refers to all of life’s continuing, ever changing needs. After the Lord taught on the necessities of life, food, shelter and clothing, He reminded us that “these things” are going to constantly be changing, but our Heavenly Father knows our needs before we even ask. He is already setting in place the circumstances of our next blessing as we weather each difficulty. Looking outward for a moment, our life does not seem so bad. Maybe we should count our blessings and look up.

We really are blessed.

Grandma, business concerns

Mama does not usually answer calls at 4:40 a.m. so I knew something was up when I woke to her talking to someone on her cell phone. She did not say anything to me as she got out of bed, but I was in the final stages of waking up, so I got up to find out what was going on. Grandma had called. She had fallen and was concerned that she had broken her ankle. She actually said that her foot was broken, but Mama did not know any more than what she had been told. We both dressed and drove to Bowie. I was needed because Grandpa is down with a very sore back, Norman and Seth are both in West Virginia, and Mama is still struggling with her new bum knee. It was sort of a “Keystone Cops” operation. (If you don’t know what that is, look it up. You will enjoy it.) We took separate vehicles so I could go back home after the patient pickup and still get to work on time. I drove the Sequoia. It had more fuel in it than the truck did. Mama took Victoria’s car – anticipating Grandma’s need for something she could easily access.

Once at Grandma and Grandpa’s we got Grandma out of the house more easily than I had expected by backing the wheelchair down the shallow porch steps. Getting her twisted into position to slide into the back seat proved to be a challenge. She could not use her hurt ankle to make the movement needed to get her backed into the vehicle. She did not have the strength in her left leg to hop on that foot – nor would we want her to. So, Grandpa wrapped his arms around her and helped her make the final adjustments to get herself in place.  Mama reached through the opposite car door and helped her get scooted into the backseat. It was surprising to me how little strength Grandma has in her arms.

 While we were getting Grandma loaded I looked at her ankle. Not too closely. She was in a hurry to get diagnosed, treated and hopefully get some relief for the pain. But from what I saw, I would be more inclined to think it was a bad sprain. The ankle can make a frightening crunching sound when it is folded into itself. We will know in a few hours whether it is broken or badly twisted. Often, a break will heal faster than a sprain. For now, Mama is at the hospital with Grandma, Grandpa is home nursing his back and Victoria is on her way to work. And all is well – or will be; mostly.

I am almost at the point of giving up on my second side business. I have spent time over the past weeks getting the documents ready for presentation and feel like I am going in reverse on the whole project. I made enough headway last night to recognize some issues I need to correct regarding content and sequencing of information. But that is not what is bothering me. I do not feel that I have what it will take to make the venture successful. Adding to the frustration is the very likely success Mama and I will have in the real estate business we are starting. That business will be far less complicated and has the potential to generate a sizable income. I am not convinced that I want a business that will occupy every available moment outside of the real estate business. It is something I am praying about it earnestly.

I would like a chance to relax at some point. I enjoy Mama’s company and would like the opportunity to spend more time with her. One of the two businesses will certainly allow that. The other may not. At least not for the several years while I am developing that business. For now, I will press forward and see how things progress. Mama is okay with either outcome.

Me too.

Mama’s setback, Brittany and the twins

After a good beginning with the physical therapist, Mama was back to where she started by the second visit for therapy. On the first visit following the second manipulation where she got to 116°, she was only able to get to 85° on Friday. She is very discouraged. So, every evening Victoria or I are massaging her leg to try to tame the stiffness in the quad in the hopes of regaining the bend we know is possible. Where she is right now, sitting on a plane will be nearly impossible. At the very least, it will be horribly uncomfortable. We are trying to get to the point where she can not only enjoy the flight to and from Honduras but enjoy the activities there as well. Three steps forward, two steps back.

We enjoyed our time with Brittany and the twins. Brittany and the girls got to the farm Thursday evening. Mama and Victoria got to enjoy them in different stages on Friday. Brittany and the girls met Victoria for lunch Friday while Mama met me in Decatur after her physical therapy appointment. Victoria had not gotten to see the twins until that meeting. They were already in bed when she had gotten home Thursday night and she left Friday morning before the girls were up. We all got to make up for it Friday night because Brittany left the girls with Mama and met Andrew in Dallas for her first night away from the twins. We had a great time with them and they did not seem overly concerned that their mommy was not there through the evening. With Victoria’s help we kept them busy. It was pleasant outside Friday evening so while we were letting Mama sit on the tailgate of the truck to swing her leg – somewhat – the girls played in the very dirty bed of the truck. The ridges in the bed did not bother them at all. Nor did the coolness of the metal. They acted as thought they were in their own private playground. They got dirty enough that we had to bathe them before putting them down for the night, but they were thrilled with the experience – both the truck and the bath. Mama, Victoria and I enjoyed their exuberance.

Brittany was back Saturday afternoon and Zoe was excited to see her. I was holding Sophia when she came in and when she tried to get Sophia to give her a hug Sophia turned herself back into my shoulder and buried her face in my neck. That quickly turned into a game. Brittany playfully scolded her daughter as we played. But she was thrilled to see how attached Sophia is to me. It is always more fun to be loved than to be tolerated. Sophia was fascinated by my facial hair – and I made sure to keep it to only a day’s growth so that it was not too scratchy on their baby skin. When I nuzzled her or kissed her neck she would shy away at first then lean into my face for me to do it again. She would rub her hand on my whiskers and try to scratch them off my face. I have the scratches to prove it. Mama enjoyed watching the interaction.

Saturday evening, we met with the church at a remote location just outside Chico. For a couple weeks we have been trying to get a picnic scheduled and the weather finally cooperated. Earlier in the day there was skeet shooting, football, volleyball and horse shoes. But we did not go for any of those activities. We showed up for the wienie (hot dog) roast. They were cooked over an open fire which at first was way too hot – resulting in about half the hot dogs being burnt beyond the point where they could be eaten. After we made some adjustments, the next batch came out perfectly. Mama made chili and slaw for the occasion. Almost all the slaw was eaten but she made ten pounds of meat into chili. Only about a third of the chili got eaten so we had a lot left over.

When we got to the picnic area we set a blanket on the ground for the twins thinking that the moist ground would discourage them from venturing too far. We were wrong about that. Once Zoe was down she crawled off the blanket and across the ground in pursuit of something only she knew about. Victoria and I followed. Sophia was not far behind, but she was following me more than anything of a personal directive. Brittany was okay with the excursion, so we let them go where they wanted. We were on a fifty-acre spread, so there was plenty of room.

We stayed until it was nearly dark. Got the girls ready for travel as we packed up our stuff and left as the flood lights were being turned on for those who were hanging out for the music. Mama wanted to stay but was just about at the point where she needed to get stretched out somewhere comfortable to rest her leg. We had said our goodbyes to the twins at the picnic. By the time she drove from the picnic to the farm – about three miles - the girls were fast asleep. We said our goodbyes to Brittany back at the farm. She left from there and we went back into a quiet house.

It was a good weekend.

Getting started, Brittany and the twins, Mama

I got a call on Wednesday from the title company in Oklahoma. Actually, they are an abstract company. Oklahoma sues the abstract process for real estate versus a title process. The outcomes are the same, but the processes are vastly different. They needed some information about the LLC Mama and I have set up to do business for our real estate investment company. After getting some questions answered, I put together the information and sent it out to the requesting persons. It will be a good test of the paperwork in place. Mama and I have never done business in this way before, so we are on a bit of a learning curve. We just trusted that the people helping us set up the corporations knew everything that would need to be done to get us set up properly. Now, we get to see if all the paperwork is really in place for us to operate as a limited liability corporation. The real challenge will come as we do our taxes for this year. The only problematic issue will be accounting for the 401k we moved. Now, it feels like we are getting started in our tax lien/deed, real estate venture.

Brittany and the twins got to the farm a little after 5pm yesterday evening. Andrew is in the area, but he drove in separately because he is doing some intensive training in the Dallas area. We will not see him until Sunday morning. It took a few minutes for the twins to piece together who Mama and I were, but once they did, we had some great snuggle time. Sophia has always been drawn to me. Even when they were very tiny, she would pick me over Mama and Victoria. Last night was no exception. I was busy cooking when they arrived, so I was not immediately in the mix for their welcoming, but she slowly put the pieces of her memory together. Each time she looked over to the kitchen from the living room she would smile and wave to me. Once she realized who I was, she followed me everywhere. She would softly whisper, “Papi” every time she saw me. Talk about special.

When Mama and Brittany were getting the girls ready for their baths, I was given Sophia. Both the girls had been stripped down to their diapers for dinner and Sophia, in anticipation of her bath, was standing on my lap. I had a couple days growth of beard and when I rubbed my chin against her shoulder she shied away and laughed. Of course, that only encouraged me to do it again. Brittany loved it. I did not want to torment the child, so I stopped once I had shown Mama and Victoria. It was only a few moments later that I realized Sophia was leaning back into my face to keep the tickling going. She finally turned around and put her hands on my face to find out just what was going on. Her smile was one of innocent wonder. Facial hair is not something she is used to. The girls were down by 7:45. They had not slept well the night before. They had not napped on the trip to the farm either. It was hard for me to tell that they were tired, but their mommy knew. They were sound asleep in very short order.

After the twins were settled in, Brittany and I helped Mama with some of her exercises. At first Mama was near the point of tears because of her inability to reproduce the results she had had at her most recent therapy. I was holding a stretch band and Mama was pulling her knee towards her. She was not able to get the bend she was expecting. When I understood her concern, I had Brittany help her bend the knee as she pulled it as far under her as she could. That not only helped Mama get to about 105°, it also felt better to her. We will repeat that exercise every night. She is so much better but she is so much more concerned about keeping what she has seen she is capable of after the second manipulation. We still have weeks if not months of work ahead of us. But we can actually see progress. Praise the Lord!

Mama has physical therapy scheduled today after which we are meeting Brittany and the girls for lunch. Brittany wants Mexican food. I will have to choose carefully in that venue. The last time I had Mexican food, the outcome was not good.

Good news, pumpkin carving, reactions

Mamas’ first physical therapy session after the manipulation was a huge success. A milestone. She was able to bend her knee to 116°. She and the therapist were both very excited. He allowed her to do a range of machines that he had not been able to Mama use because of the stiffness in her leg. Mama will limit her visits to the therapist because we are paying for the visits out of pocket. It is not cheap. It is not horribly expensive, but we will rack up a sizable bill at two visits per week over the next three weeks. It should be worth it in the long run, but it is disappointing to be excluded by insurance for help with the visits. We are paying enough that there should be some cost sharing, but that is not the case. Sad. Recently I got a questionnaire from our insurance company and I was very honest in my responses – very thorough in the written responses. I do not know if it will make a difference in their attitude toward our financial needs related to Mama’s surgery and follow up, but at least I got to voice my concerns.

We had our 4^th Annual Pumpkin Carving activity at work yesterday. I have yet to be on the winning team, but it is always fun. Yesterday was no exception. I worked on a team of three and we made – or attempted to make – a caramel apple pumpkin. It was a good idea, but we had only an hour to pull it off. Enclosed are some of the final products of the labors during that hour. I am always amazed at the creativity of the group of individuals at this company. You can judge for yourself.

I was hurting very badly yesterday evening. I am not sure why; maybe the posture I used during the time we were working on our pumpkin. I am not sure. Not only did my lower back hurt but I was also a little nauseated. We had eaten Mexican food for lunch, but it is was from a restaurant I have eaten at in the past. Yesterday it did not agree with me. Lately, that has been my lot with almost everything I eat.  The nausea was easy to mask. The back pain was not. To help my back pain, Mama suggested I put a Lidocaine patch on my back. I reluctantly agreed. I had a vague memory of that not being a good option for me in the past, but I could not remember for sure. Anyway, within an hour I was severely nauseated, dizzy and weak. By that time, we were already on our way to church; hoping the feeling would pass. It did not.

We left church before the service began. Once we were home I took the patch off and scrubbed the area where it had been applied. Within twenty minutes I was feeling better. The dizziness and weakness were gone but the nausea remained through the night. Hopefully, I will remember not to do that again. On the brighter side, as we were leaving church – to get me home – Mama tried walking down the steps in church in a normal fashion. She succeeded. She was thrilled. I just wanted to get home.

Brittany and the twins will be here sometime late today. Mama is looking forward to that. Me too.

Voting, Mama

Monday morning and again at lunchtime Monday I went to the polling place set up for early voting in Decatur. Both times the line was so long that I had to forego taking the time to stand for my turn in the voting booth. However, when I queued into the line at lunchtime, I struck up a conversation with the man in front of me and he gave me a printout of all the places in Wise County that were set up for early voting. One of those places was in Alvord at the City Hall. I called Mama to let her know we could go together to Alvord before heading to the hospital. She was in favor of that. So, yesterday morning, Mama, Victoria and I went the four miles to Alvord and walked into an empty polling place. Literally. There was only one person there. She was already at the voting machines. No one was in line to be registered to vote. We were in and out in ten minutes. I was relieved to have cast my vote and excited to have seen the excitement in people wanting to get their vote registered. Early voting is a great option for me and I was thankful to have the opportunity to do so. Victoria left from there for work. Mama and I headed back home so she could finish her routine to prep for the preop. Both of us were fasting until after her procedure.

We were able to leave for the hospital in plenty of time and ended up getting there over thirty minutes early. Her procedure was scheduled for 2:30. We were there at 11:30. It was a little unnerving a short time later as we sat in the lobby, waiting to be called back for the hospital portion of the preop, to get a call from the hospital asking if we were going to make our scheduled time for the procedure. I assured the lady calling that we would make our appointed time because we were already sitting in the lobby; duly registered at the reception desk with our assigned patient number. When the person I was conversing with asked me to hold for a moment, I heard the phone at the front desk ring. The man stationed there – he had just taken over – answered and began talking with me. He was as confused as I was as to what we should be taking about. It was quickly sorted out and Mama and I were escorted back to get her hospital bracelets from the actual registration personnel; after which we were called back for the nurses to begin poking and prodding Mama.

When I left Mama to wait again in the lobby, it was less than thirty minutes later that I was called back to see her in recovery. However, on my way to see her, the doctor came out into the lobby to tell me how things had gone. He even had a picture of her leg in the fully bent position. He told me there was a lot of popping and cracking, but he was able to get the knee to 120-125°. Now it was up to us to keep that range of motion. I believe this time we will be able to do so. The alternative is not appealing at all. As part of the procedure, Mama was given a nerve block and the joint was infused with a form of time released Lidocaine. That should be effective for about four days. Keeping the pain at bay should help Mama and the physical therapist to be more aggressive with the knee as we struggle to hold onto our hard-won gains.

Mama woke fairly quickly. The only issue we ran into was that the attending nurse insisted on giving Mama two hydrocodone before she left the hospital. About an hour later she was very nauseated. Mama does not take much medicine and therefore tends to be sensitive to the effects of any medication. We did enjoy a good lunch before heading home and Mama was able to hold everything down through the evening, so overall, things went well.

Mama tells me that she feels a real difference in the leg and knee. A looseness she has not felt since the replacement surgery. That is a good thing. Maybe a great thing. She was able to walk almost normally after the procedure. Her brace fit much better as we applied it last night. Overall, everything seemed to be better.

We are encouraged but we still have a good bit of work ahead of us.

Savanna and Cori, Zoe, Mama

Since it had been several weeks since Savanna had been to church – due to her persistent high fever – she seemed a little hesitant to go; especially to Sunday School. Remember, she is still barely able to understand Spanish, so I can imagine how she would feel a bit out of place among her Honduran peers. So, Sunday morning, Savanna asked her mommy, “Mommy, I am mommy to my dolls. Right?” Not knowing where the conversation was heading, Cori cautiously answered that she was indeed the mommy to her dolls. To which Savanna followed up, “And mommies don’t have to go to Sunday School class. Right?” It was not a good enough case to allow her to avoid going to her Sunday School class, but it was pretty clever. Especially for a three-year-old mind. Later that day Cori was quizzing Savanna about her Sunday School class, asking her what the story was about. “I don’t know,” she responded, “the teacher kept talking about somebody called Noe.” Cori smiled and explained that Noe was the Spanish pronunciation of Noah. She instantly saw that the light came on in Savanna’s eyes. “That’s why we were naming all the animals!” It’s good to hear that she is feeling better.

Cori is still dealing with swollen lymph nodes and general malaise. I spent some time last night talking to her about what she is doing to combat the symptoms and got some insights into some of the exacerbating issues. Not the least of which is hydration. That has always been a challenge for Cori – even when she had unlimited access to clean, drinkable water. She is going to start correcting that problem and we will work our way out from there. Another complication could be from some of the oils she is taking internally. On that I am not sure but suggested that she research to see if any of the ones she is using are contraindicated for the symptoms she is experiencing. One of the problems with abundant natural health supplements is that we do not take the time to understand what the herbs or supplements can do outside of the suggested benefits. How much should we take? How often should we take the supplement? How long should I continue to take the supplement? Are there any harmful effects based on my gender, my metabolism, my blood type, my diet, my age, my current medical condition, etc.? I did not advise Cori to stop taking any one thing, only that she do a lot of homework to dig out the information on each thing she is taking to understand the upside and evaluate the downside – and there often is a downside.

Brittany called yesterday to tell Mama that Zoe had taken her first steps. They were coaching her through the process, but she was able to take three steps before falling onto her bottom to begin crawling again. That is always a monumental indication of progress so those beginning steps are always exciting. However, they are a harbinger of busy, exhausting days to come. Especially since Brittany has two little ones to follow after. Typically, two little ones like that will follow each other around so when something happens they are likely to be in the same place when it does. It should be several years until they diverge into their own personal mischief. Lord willing, by that time there will have been a lot of behavioral training presented to the twins. For the moment, we will enjoy the progress and watch the girls start to get about in an upright position. Brittany and the girls will be here with us on Thursday. Mama is really looking forward to that.

We are still on the docket for Mama’s second manipulation tomorrow at 2:30 pm. She will concentrate on hydrating today. She does not want a repeat of the fiasco she had to deal with last time when the nurses were unable to start IV’s or successfully draw blood. Mama has been able to sleep longer intervals in her brace over the past several nights. It shows when she walks. However, she wears out very quickly and she is only able to stand doing dishes or laundry or cleaning for short periods of time before the pain sets in causing her to have to rest. Hopefully, this manipulation will get the bend we need, and the brace will allow Mama to keep it. The issues of energy to do things and pain in doing those things should improve drastically as we get the joint operating properly. Or so we are told.

Time will tell.