Some better, anniversary, poor timing

Just as yesterday was an improvement over Sunday, today seems to be a little bit better than yesterday. Not by much, but every little bit is appreciated. Even though I was feeling somewhat better yesterday, I had to lay down after Mama and I got through with the evening feeding. I ended up sleeping almost an hour. Meanwhile, Mama and Victoria – who had just gotten home from work – headed to Bridgeport to meet with Mama’s Color Street mentor to learn about different pay methods available through Color Street. Or something along the line. I tried to describe the way I am feeling to Mama, but it does not make much sense to anyone not experiencing the issue. I do not feel weak. I just feel exhausted. I can summon up the energy to throw around 50-pound sacks of feed – for a few minutes. Those bags of feed do not feel any heavier than before. I have the strength, I just run out of energy very quickly. Even though I do not feel as exhausted as I did yesterday, I can sense that I am not well. Not strong.

My biggest concern at the moment is the class I am supposed to teach tomorrow. I do not want to admit that I may not be able to do eight hours of lecture in a face-to-face setting, but I may not be able. The issue is, I will not know for sure unless I try. So, which is more frustrating and embarrassing, to try and fail or to admit I may not be able? Which is better for the company, to ask for backup or to risk poorly representing my company? I have to err on the side of bowing out and hoping someone is available for the class. I am anxious for this to be over but at the very least, I will have to wait until next Tuesday for the heart cath to, hopefully, reveal a clear path forward. If that procedure were not already scheduled, I would be very tempted to drag myself to the emergency room and get something done.

Today, if my notes are correct, is Maggie and Aaron’s anniversary. I do not know which one, but it has to be more than six. I think. Congrats Maggie and Aaron, which ever anniversary this is. I would be interested to know how many times they have moved in the years they have been married – including their most recent relocation. Since that seemed to be a topic of much discussion between Maggie and Brittany before they married and began their own series of moves. Given the opportunity, I will make certain my grandchildren and I have long discussions about that. Payback is fun.

The Lord has been really blessing our farm lately. Mama received payment for two goats this morning. We will meet the buyer Saturday in Weatherford. She is also working with another buyer for the sale of one of our little girls. That will bring us down to a manageable number of does (8) and bucks (2). We were praying that the little buck we held back from the sale in Bowie would go to a good home. Now he is. He is small, well formed, beautifully marked and a great myotonic fainter. I am glad we held him back.

Mama called, at my request, to see how far out the schedule was at the meat processors to get a couple lambs processed. Our hope was that we could buy two lambs and have them processed before Nate and Cori got here. Sadly, that is not going to happen. The earliest date they could offer us was mid-November. Not overly surprising, but the timing was a little disappointing. For the cow we have at the farm, the date for processing her is November of 2021. Mama and I were shocked. We expected a couple months out for the beef, but not 18 months. We went ahead and set the appointment, but it may be a challenge to remember to keep it.

This is a strange new world we are living in.