Class, Mama follow up

I taught class yesterday. It was a good class. Very diverse in expertise, experience and geography. We had clients from California, Oregon, Michigan, Colorado, and Pennsylvania. We had some local folks as well, but I do not remember such a widespread or far flung group attending in a single class before. The whole atmosphere of the class was great throughout the day. One of those rare pleasures of teaching in this industry. One particular gentleman was a Polish immigrant who had come to the US for college and decided to stay here. He was at or close to my age. His accent was so thick that I was required to restate the questions he asked – and he asked quite a few – so some in the class could follow the thought as I answered his question. He appeared to be used to the required English to English translation.

It reminded me of a time when I was working R&D in West Virginia. We had a delegation of Japanese engineers come to the plant for a series of trial runs for a catalyst they had developed. There were six in the party and they always entered the control room in the same order – most senior to most junior. It was the most junior engineer who was responsible to ask the questions of whoever was operating the reactor for them. It was our set of four days and the person we had on the console was the epitome of a West Virginia redneck. On Monday morning, the operator was asked a question by the speaker of the group and he very unabashedly said to the speaker, “I can’t understand a word you are saying.” That retort thoroughly embarrassed and confused the translator. So, I restated the question to the operator. “Oh”, he said, and proceeded to answer the question. We repeated the process for the next half hour only the question would be asked of me, I would repeat the same words (English to English) to the operator who would then answer the question. Clearly it was frustrating the entire delegation. They came back for reports on the operation several times that day and we repeated the process. When I reported to work on Tuesday morning, I was reassigned to the reactor the Japanese delegation was interested in. It came as no surprise to me, but the delegation was very obviously relieved to see me at the console when they entered that morning – especially the interpreter for the group. Oddly enough, the question and answer sessions lasted considerably longer.

Tuesday Mama and I went to McAlester, OK to see a surgeon there that specializes in knee replacements. He came highly recommended by Kim Cantrell’s dad – who had his knee replaced by this surgeon. We were warned that he was a very direct individual. Mama had been able to make the appointment unexpectedly soon – as far as scheduling a doctor’s appointment is concerned. She had planned to make the trip with Kim Cantrell to the appointment but that did not work out. So, I volunteered to take her. McAlester is three hours away, so it was an all-day trip including the visit with the doctor.

The surgeon had x-rays taken that afternoon so that he could get the views of the knee he required. We brought the MRI disks with us and he reviewed those as we talked. His opinion was that the replacement parts are in the right spots. The surgery looks like it was successful. Thought some doctors like to put the joint in tightly – which can affect movement – it did not appear to him that that was the case. However, assessing the external scar on Mama’s leg was a clear to him that she may be very heavily scarred internally. The surgery our doctor is suggesting, in this surgeon’s opinion, is a reasonable approach at this point in her recovery process. However, he cautioned her to quit allowing herself to avoid the pain – significant at times – or she would lose even the 80° of bend she now has. His expression was “blood, sweat and tears”. If she does not make herself endure the pain required to bend the joint on at least an hourly basis, she will not get the range of motion she wants. It is going to hurt. It is going to hurt badly. It is going to hurt for a long time. Enduring the pain is the key to succeeding in manipulating the joint. Mama is not fully on board with that prognosis. Hopefully, she will enlist in that self-determined program soon. Otherwise, we will see very poor results which will follow her the rest of her life.

Please pray for her.

Veteran’s Day, a leak, a saint, a baby

To all veterans and active military, first responders and law enforcement; Thank you for your service. Our world would not be the same without your service to us and your sacrifice for us.

I got the privilege of working on a waterline leak for most of the day Saturday. I noticed the leak on Thursday evening as I was feeding the cattle. So, I turned off the water to that hydrant (at the garden) which shut off the water to the chicken coop. That made it a challenge to get water to the chickens through the end of the week, but I could not allow the leak to continue. Mostly because it causes the well to run too much but also to contain the mess I would have to deal with when I started the repairs. It was cool Saturday so in most ways it was pleasant to be outside working. The digging, the bending the straining to separate the line and the straining to put new fittings in the line all took their toll on my back. The problem is that I have fixed this particular leak twice before. With that in mind, I went to the hardware store and bought the fittings to make a metal tee to replace the failed plastic tee. That required cutting the line to accommodate the new, larger tee.

During an afternoon break to attend a funeral, I bought upgraded band clamps to fit the line to the new fitting. All that effort and I was not able to fix the leak. What I realized too late in the day was that the plastic line was cold enough to stiffen it to the point that I could not tighten the clamps enough to compress it to the fitting – which allowed it to continue leaking. I ended up covering the exposed line with feed sacks and metal sheeting yesterday afternoon in the hope of keeping it from freezing during the next couple night when the forecast temperature it 25°F. For us at this time of year, that is very cold. I am not sure if the line will survive the cold without bursting, but on the good side, it is not filled with water – because it is leaking. That leak may actually save me from having to replace the exposed line. We will see Thursday or Friday how things fared. For now, I must wait until the temperatures rise to try again.

Saturday afternoon Mama and I went to a funeral for a saint from our church that passed away last Thursday. She was the mother of our pastor’s wife. Our pastor’s mother-in-law. She was a dear, dear person. She taught the 4 year-old Sunday School class until she was no longer able to do so; giving up her class at the age or 83. She continued to go soul winning and bus calling until the age or 88 and when she could not get about well enough to continue that, she started visiting in the nursing homes in our area. She continued that until she was 92. She died at the age of 95. She was always faithful to church; missing only when she was unable due to health issues. She was a joy to all who knew her. She finished her course in that joy and even out last memories of her will be fond ones. The church was full for the funeral. We could truly rejoice knowing a saint had gone home. She was one of those people who evidenced what a pleasure it is to live a life devoted to the Lord. She will be missed.

Last week also a baby was born to the daughter of one of the members of our church. That birth was a premature birth and the baby had some complications at birth. The mother and baby are still in the hospital as the doctors del with helping the child overcome those complications. Our pastor asked yesterday morning that all who would gather at the altar for a special time of prayer for the baby. He asked me to lead that prayer and I was happy to do so. Having just gone through the loss of Becky’s child, the anguish of such a moment is still fresh in my heart. Last night the pastor announced that the baby had taken a turn for the better. The doctors ware amazed at the sudden improvement. We, as a congregation, were amazed also. It is always wonderful when God answers prayer. It is wonderful to simple to know that he hears our prayers. We will continue to life the baby up in prayer, but for now the child appears to be on the road to recovery.

Whether He had healed or not, we need to realize we serve a great God.

Talking shop, holiday planning, Victoria

Mama called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that she had accepted a dinner invitation for that evening. It was spur of the moment, but I did not mind. We had the O’Conner family over to the farm several months ago and they have been talking about having us over to their house for several months now. It was a fun evening. They have been going to church with us for a couple years not and we enjoy talking with them when after services. Their younger two children sing in the choir and participate in all the youth activities. They, like us, have lived in multiple places in the United States and have a wealth of stories to tell and the sense of humor to present those tales in an enjoyable manner. The parents – who are just younger than me and Mama – are delightful people. Simple souls. Hard working and consciences. No pretense. Their children reflect that character.

We had a fun evening. Only their youngest daughter was there for the meal. She is graduating High School next year. Mama and I told anecdotal stories of our children and our travels and they reciprocated. We laughed a lot – at ourselves and each other. Mama and I left about 8:30, before the three older boys had gotten in from their work. Right most of the work they do requires an extensive amount of travel. The dad and mom of the family are looking for something else to do with their lives and monies, so we talked a good bit about the real estate business Mama and I are getting into. They were both very interested in partnering with us at some point in the near future. They would be an asset because of their extensive background in construction – especially roofing and siding. Just like the realtor we are working with in Lawton, experience provides insights into remodeling possibilities I cannot come up with on my own. We can use those insights as we pursue this business. Mama and I will have to get sharpened up on setting up such business deals in order to involve more people in the purchase and sale of real estate. This family, like the Burns family, would be great long-term partners.

Work continues to chug along as one issue after another resolves itself without any intervention on my part. I do at times feel shut out of things in which I could be an asset to my employer, but I manage to find enough to do day by day to participate in a productive flow in the overall workload. I tell myself they are withholding work assignments in order to allow me to stay close to home for Mama’s sake. And that may actually be the case. No one has said so, but I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. At work we are gearing up for the holidays. Parties and office gatherings are planned through the end of the year. Everyone seems excited about the festivities. I have to admit that the company goes all out to put on a Christmas party. Mama and I will probably attend this year since it is so early in the month of December. Actually, the party falls on the weekend after we return from Honduras. Mama and I are more focused on our trip to Honduras than on any local activities, but we will go along to get along.

Victoria was planning a trip to Brittany’s this weekend. She is off today and was intending on leaving this morning but when she came in last night, she as not sounding very good. She was not coughing but was hoarse and congested. I would imagine the trip is off, but she, Mama and Brittany will work that out amongst themselves. The twins are finally better. They went through a lengthy battle with fevers and congestion but seem to be on the mend right now. I am not sure Brittany would like to invite any potential infectant into the house that could interrupt the continued good health of the little ones. Especially since Victoria is really there to cuddle and smooch on the girls. It is not like she would look on from a safe distance as the twins went through their daily routine. If Victoria does not make this trip, we will see the girls over the Christmas holidays.

That just seems so long away to Mama and Victoria.

Struggling with Spanish, Honduras, Mama’s news

Savanna is a constant source of entertainment. Cori tells so many anecdotal stories about her antics and her verbiage that I could not possibly recount them all, but every now and then a thought pops out of her mouth that is truly worth capturing. It is a foregone conclusion that they, as a family, are struggling with Spanish. But it is not a subject that comes up for general discussion. They just deal with it as they go along, so it is difficult to gauge the impact the struggle has on the family. However, every now and then we get a glimpse of the conflict. This time it was through Savanna. Early in the morning Savanna had brought her baby doll to Cori to have her mommy swaddle the baby. Not too much later that morning, as the swaddling had worked its way loose, Savanna needed the process repeated – but mommy was busy with the older children. They were doing school work and Savanna is not allowed to interrupt. In a pinch, she went to daddy; who did a half-hearted job of getting her baby wrapped properly. Savanna, almost in tears, interrupted school to plead with mommy. “Mommy”, she began, “can you swaddle my baby doll? Daddy did it in Spanish and I need it done in English.” That is a revelatory insight. Out of the mouth of babes we too often find wisdom.

We are now just two weeks away from going to Honduras. I have arranged the time off with work. That is a blessing. I will not get paid for the week, but Mama and I can make up that difference out of other accounts. I am looking forward to many things about the trip – not the least of which is spending time with Nate, Cori and the grandkids. I am also looking forward to visiting Honduras. I have not been there since I traveled there with my parents as a youth. Mama is not the least concerned about the language barrier. She will have Nate and Cori to help. And she will have me to translate as well. I have been warned about keeping a sharp eye out for potentially dangerous situations while we are abroad, but I will have to trust the Lord. My personality and psyche are not geared to be a Jason Bourne. Besides, we will have Nate there with us. He is tuned to that kind of suspicious attentiveness having been a deputy sheriff for twelve years. That being said, it will be helpful to see our children and their work in situ. Our eyes really do affect our hearts. Getting a sense of the country will help us understand what the long-term family and ministry needs are and how we can most effectively help to meet those needs.

Mama saw the doctor’s assistant yesterday. She was not surprised by the news she received. She will see the doctor upon our return and we will get her scheduled for surgery sometime before Christmas. Lord, willing, her Christmas present will be a functional knee. She was not too discouraged by the news, but it was not what we had hoped for at the outset of this surgery. Honduras will be a challenge for her with the pain she is in right now. On the bright side, Chase and Makaila steered us toward resistance-type workouts. Victoria was so impressed with the idea that she bought a set of straps made for that purpose. I installed those straps on the laundry room door Tuesday evening. I tested the set up and found the exercises to be very effective. When we got home last night Mama gave it a try. She loved it. Of course, she could not bend her knees very deeply, but she immediately felt that the few exercises she had done helped her. We will continue with that line of strength training for her. Especially since we are no longer able to get her more physical therapy sessions. Victoria and I are not able to bend her knee for her more than about 90°, so if the exercises will allow her to strengthen the thigh and gently move the knee into deeper and deeper bends, we may be on to something.

Again, time will tell.

Samuel: the timeline

Friday morning, the 2^nd of November, Becky went to the doctor for her normal prenatal visit. It was supposed to be a routine visit. She was at sixteen weeks along in her pregnancy. They had already determined that the baby was a boy. On that morning, there was no heartbeat. No movement. No sign of life. The doctor sent Becky home and called the hospital to make arrangements for her to be admitted that night. She was thoroughly examined, and it was confirmed that her little boy had died. The normal recourse in such

circumstances is to induce the mother and allow her to deliver the baby. Mama and I gathered much of this after the fact. For some reason, it did not dawn on us that she would have to go through a full delivery. We understood that she had lost the baby, but her hospital stay was a surprise to us. We were thinking “miscarriage” which normally takes care of itself. For that reason, we did not make plans to go see Becky until Sunday morning. She was still in the hospital. Still in labor. It suddenly hit us that we should be there with her if we could.

We were already dressed for church by that time, so we finished getting ready and headed to Decatur to see if Alex would want the girls to go to church with us and have someone else bring them home after church. He elected to have the girls stay home. On the way to church, I had Mama call one of our choir members and ask if he would lead choir practice that night – so we would not have to miss any rehearsals. Once at church, I arranged with Zack and the pastor to cover the music and a meeting that evening when I was scheduled to present a devotional to the men. Mama and I quickly left the church and headed home to pack. We were on the road to Hot Springs by 10:30 am. Mama was being constantly updated by Becky through the six-hour drive. We were hoping to get to her before the birth, but we did not make it. She delivered the baby at about 12 pm Sunday afternoon. They named the little boy Samuel. He was already given to the Lord. The hospital let her see the baby and even provided her the opportunity to take a couple pictures. They even dressed the baby for those pictures. I will not share those pictures but, at sixteen weeks, he was a perfectly formed little boy. The miracle of conception.

We got to the hospital at about 4:30 pm. Mama and Becky talked about the birth, the baby, the next steps in recovery, etc., while Bridgette played in the room. We will not know why the baby died but the staff told Becky that the umbilical cord had partially detached at the baby’s naval possible leading to the death. Becky grieved, and Mama consoled. I listened to Mike who was largely trying to ignore the reason we were at the hospital. (People grieve in different ways.) It was not long before Bridgette and Mama were looking at videos and pictures of her cousins. Mama was desperate to get her off the floor of the hospital room. We waited there until Becky was dismissed – about 7 pm. Mama and I got a room for the night. Ate a small meal and settled in for the night; happy that we had made the decision to come. It was a rough night for both of us, but neither of us have ever done well sleeping in hotel beds.

Mama and I spent most of the next day with Becky and Mike and Bridgette. We did not get to their home until later in the morning because there was a panic on their part to get to place cleaned up. Something about the dogs shredding a couple rolls of toilet paper in their absence. Mama enjoyed her time with Bridgette. We took them out for a late lunch and headed home shortly after we had finished the meal. I believe it was time well spent. We were both worn out. Mama was in quite a bit of pain during the trip home.

Mama goes to see her doctor today. He is not going to be pleased with her lack of progress. That makes two of them.

Bowing out, poor results

Mama and I talked last night, and I told her that I was going to bow out of the second potential business I had been pursuing. It is too big a task for me to develop on my own. In fairness to the investor that was talking with me about the project, I sent an email letting him know that I am not the person he is looking for to create both the content and the company in question. I can see the need. I can envision the final product. I can provide input and oversight, but I am in way over my head setting up the foundation required to support such a project. It is a disappointing admission, but it is an honest one. If there is an opportunity to participate in the areas where I can truly be of use, those will present themselves, but for now I have asked to be taken out of consideration for the project. I really want to focus our resources and my time on the real estate business Mama and I are creating. That we can do…and we can do it together.

As I have been praying for Mama, the Lord has brought several things to mind. One was the use of an infrared device we purchased through NIKKEN years ago. When I looked up the device on the internet to find instructions (I no longer have them.) it was referred to as a “vintage” device. The device is supposed to relieve pain and inflammation. I was lovingly chiding her as she sat on the couch resting, telling her that she should at least be taking the opportunity to use ice on her knee. It was then that I remembered the infrared device and went to the shop to retrieve it. She used it in an area of the most intense pain but was disappointed that she could not feel anything. However, once she got up to walk, she noticed that the pain had abated noticeably. She was encouraged. It actually worked as promised. I think she will continue to use it.

Mama goes for physical therapy today. Her mind last night was to tell the staff there that she would forego any further sessions because she feels she regresses after each session due to the swelling the session causes. I am not sure if she will follow through on that thought, but I know she will voice her frustration and concerns about the lack of function of the knee. And she should. We will not see the doctor until Tuesday, so Victoria and I will have to be diligent about keeping Mama treated through the weekend: hoping for the best possible response from the doctor. I am not sure what the remedial treatment would be if he is not satisfied with her progress, but I do know Mama is hoping for a wait-and-see approach even as she is hoping for full function. She is worn out emotionally. We could use some good news.

Her lack of use of the knee and the constant pain are making it hard for her to continue her normal chores around the farm. That is an additional discouragement to her. Last night, as I was unloading and setting out bales of hay for the cows. I could have used her help – especially driving the tractor. In getting the bales set out for the cattle, I typically get on and off the tractor twice with each passage through the gate and four times getting the bale and ring in place for feeding out the bale being set. I counted the times I got onto and off of the tractor in setting one bale. It was eight times. If Mama were able to drive the tractor, I would have been saved that bending and twisting. Her knee will not yet allow her to do so because her left leg would have to operate the clutch. She is further discouraged by that. To be honest, I find that as I make those movements I feel a lessening of the tension and pain in my back. So, it is not all bad. I just know it bothers Mama.

I am confident we will soon be past all this, but for the moment it is taking a toll on us.

Mama, travel arrangements, medical assessment

Although there was no improvement in the bend of Mama’s knee yesterday, she was in less pain. I do not know if that is a good thing. We had originally been told that once the knee was bending properly that the pain would ease substantially and eventually go away completely. Since we are not able to test that mantra, I am not sure where we are with our expectation of Mama’s full recovery. I went to bed early last night, so I was not the one to massage Mama’s leg and help apply her brace so, I do not know if the slacking pain was solely from inactivity – and I believe she needs the rest – or the result of the joint finding its own comfortable spot in range of motion. Mama did not go to physical therapy as scheduled yesterday morning, sighting the rainy weather as the reason. I am sure that was partly the reason, but I do not believe that was the whole reason. Please continue to pray for her.

November is a month of big doings for us. Not the least of which is our trip to Honduras. November always feels like the official start of the holiday season. I have yet to formally work out my absence with my employer for the week following Thanksgiving when we will be in Honduras. I am out of vacation, so the time off will have to be granted without pay – which is okay with me. I am not planning on missing our trip to Honduras to sit in the office and pretend to work. That week is typically a light-duty week. My newest manager is not worried in the least about the point in question, but I still need to pursue the answer to have the issue settled and confirmed with HR and current management. It should not be a problem – at least I am not anticipating a problem with the request. We are only twenty one days away from getting on a plane and heading to Nate, Cori and the kids for Thanksgiving. All of us are excited about the trip. It would make sense for me to get the time off approved.

Because of Brittany coming with the twins last weekend, Mama and Victoria packed away much of the accumulated items we will be carrying – literally – down to Cori and the kids. The three suitcases used to house those items once they were moved off of the bed in our spare bedroom are full, but not horribly so. That may change over the next three weeks. I am still not sure just how much we are taking with us or how we will get the empty suitcases back home – or if we will simply leave them there. A couple of the suitcases are the nesting style of luggage so maybe Mama has planned this better than I am giving her credit for. At any rate, we are gearing up for the trip. It will be the first time out of the country for Mama and me in several years. I have a feeling it will be the first of many repeat visits to Honduras.

Cori is scheduled to see a rheumatologist in country early next week. She is trying to get a sound diagnosis for the constant pain she is in. There is a fairly extensive list of possibilities for the malaise and pain, each with a slightly different approach to abatement, so narrowing down the cause will be helpful. Too often a diagnosis is a hinderance to treatment rather than serving as a pathway to a remedy. We are hoping in this case, it will allow us to get an herbal regimen in place to help Cori. We can at least avoid problematic foods and activities, select the proper strength exercises and apply herbs and natural oils in a focused manner if we can define the cause. I will have a better sense of the problem when I am around Cori and can observe her as we spend time with her and the kids. That will be a side benefit to the trip – but it is not the primary reason for the trip.

We hope to have fun while we are with the kids and grandkids while we are there.