Bowing out, poor results

Mama and I talked last night, and I told her that I was going to bow out of the second potential business I had been pursuing. It is too big a task for me to develop on my own. In fairness to the investor that was talking with me about the project, I sent an email letting him know that I am not the person he is looking for to create both the content and the company in question. I can see the need. I can envision the final product. I can provide input and oversight, but I am in way over my head setting up the foundation required to support such a project. It is a disappointing admission, but it is an honest one. If there is an opportunity to participate in the areas where I can truly be of use, those will present themselves, but for now I have asked to be taken out of consideration for the project. I really want to focus our resources and my time on the real estate business Mama and I are creating. That we can do…and we can do it together.

As I have been praying for Mama, the Lord has brought several things to mind. One was the use of an infrared device we purchased through NIKKEN years ago. When I looked up the device on the internet to find instructions (I no longer have them.) it was referred to as a “vintage” device. The device is supposed to relieve pain and inflammation. I was lovingly chiding her as she sat on the couch resting, telling her that she should at least be taking the opportunity to use ice on her knee. It was then that I remembered the infrared device and went to the shop to retrieve it. She used it in an area of the most intense pain but was disappointed that she could not feel anything. However, once she got up to walk, she noticed that the pain had abated noticeably. She was encouraged. It actually worked as promised. I think she will continue to use it.

Mama goes for physical therapy today. Her mind last night was to tell the staff there that she would forego any further sessions because she feels she regresses after each session due to the swelling the session causes. I am not sure if she will follow through on that thought, but I know she will voice her frustration and concerns about the lack of function of the knee. And she should. We will not see the doctor until Tuesday, so Victoria and I will have to be diligent about keeping Mama treated through the weekend: hoping for the best possible response from the doctor. I am not sure what the remedial treatment would be if he is not satisfied with her progress, but I do know Mama is hoping for a wait-and-see approach even as she is hoping for full function. She is worn out emotionally. We could use some good news.

Her lack of use of the knee and the constant pain are making it hard for her to continue her normal chores around the farm. That is an additional discouragement to her. Last night, as I was unloading and setting out bales of hay for the cows. I could have used her help – especially driving the tractor. In getting the bales set out for the cattle, I typically get on and off the tractor twice with each passage through the gate and four times getting the bale and ring in place for feeding out the bale being set. I counted the times I got onto and off of the tractor in setting one bale. It was eight times. If Mama were able to drive the tractor, I would have been saved that bending and twisting. Her knee will not yet allow her to do so because her left leg would have to operate the clutch. She is further discouraged by that. To be honest, I find that as I make those movements I feel a lessening of the tension and pain in my back. So, it is not all bad. I just know it bothers Mama.

I am confident we will soon be past all this, but for the moment it is taking a toll on us.