Arrival in Milton, Being a Grandparent

Arrival in Milton was almost anticlimactic but the welcome of our grandchildren made it worth the hours we put in on the road to get there. It takes us almost twenty hours to make the trip and, unlike traveling with my nephew, traveling with Mama takes a different pace. Chase was trying to hide his exasperation as it grew with each bathroom stop. But traveling with two old fogies, he has to take what he gets.
Unloading was a breeze and since some of the stuff that stuffed our little van will stay in Milton - it was like Christmas for our kids and grandkids. I will know how big an effect that will have when we pack the van tomorrow morning to go to Hot Springs. We enjoyed church here on a Tuesday night because of a special retreat planned for the teachers of the church school and used Wednesday night to go to the outlet malls in Destin - about an hour away. It will be the last Outlet Mall shopping Mama will be able to do for quite a while.
Meanwhile we have been waking to our grandchildren each morning and I cannot tell who loves it more, Mama or Mykenzie. Grant is only slightly effected by our company a long as he gets fed as soon as his feet hit the floor. Blake has allowed us to take turns holding him during his waking times but only if we remain standing. Sitting, laying, leaning, lounging or any other resting or semi-resting position is cause for immediate crying. He’s pretty definite.
So now we’ve eaten our Milton Bakery doughnuts, scavenged shells at Navarre Beach, shopped the Outlet Malls, and have gone trick-or-treating with the grandchildren. We have been up late every night, up early every morning, eaten out more in one week that Cori and Nate do in a month, spent more than I should have and basically worn everyone out through a thoroughly disrupted routine. We can now leave our spoiled, tired and confused grandchildren to the care of their equally worn out parents and move on to our children in Hot Springs.
Being grandparents is the bomb.

Packing the little van, Things we missed

With goodbye’s all done the only task left for me was to pack all that I could in the little van and when I looked at the stack of boxes and bags on the living room floor, I knew I was in for a challenge. We had sent as much stuff with the packers as we thought we could and were hoping to at least have all of our cloths with us in case of an extended time in a motel while we searched for a house or apartment. Turns out that may have been a bad decision. Chase and I each had one suitcase plus I had a large duffle bag. Mama had three suitcases, two boxes and so many bags I lost count. Fortunately we had packed most of her cloths and sent them with the movers.
I had already bought a small car top carrier that we could collapse and store easily and it was at least as big as the car could manage, but I was so quickly out of room that I knew we would not make it. I put the two car seats we were taking out for packing room in the van and found that they fit in the car top carrier but that left little room for anything else – and the movers were already gone. To their credit the driver had taken several crates of items that are not normally allowed in the warehouse – to be delivered to my office in Borger.
When it was all over we had two rather large boxes of food and condiments that we took to the church to be given away. We threw some things in the dumpster and still I had to stuff the last few things in little spaces hoping a very hot iron could straighten them out after we pulled them free. It was then that I realized we had not taken out clothing for our stay in the hotel that night. So I took the man approach; no one would know if I wore the same clothes for two consecutive days – showers could wait until we got to Florida.
I should have known that would not work for Mama. Why, I’m not sure (Never have been.) what the issue is, but it seems to really bother her. As it turned out we had finished a load of clothes that morning and there was another set of clean clothing for each of us as well as cloths to sleep in that night; to keep Chase from being too embarrassed.)
On the second day we were at a Cracker Barrel for a potty break and Mama found something she really wanted. All I could say was, “If you can’t swallow it, it won’t fit in the car.”

Goodbyes at Church, Our sacred trust

Through the morning and after the evening service we said our “goodbyes” to the friends we have been given in the Somerset Bible Baptist Church. Just as when we left Texas over eight years ago, we know that there are those among the family there that we will never see again this side of Glory. It is a sadness made tolerable by the promise of eternity together.
The saddest part for Mama Kim and I was leaving the little ones in our Sunday morning Beginner’s Church. For the sendoff we had thirty two, two, three, four and five-year-olds in the room with us. We had printed pictures with each of the children in our class last week and presented those to the one’s present the final morning. For those we missed seeing that day, we entrusted their pictures to Mrs. Fisher to distribute this coming Sunday. She knows it is a sacred trust.
There are some of the little ones for whom we would have loved to pass our accumulated insights from our working with them to our successor, but we did not finalize who that person may be. God knows and He will give them the understanding He gave us as we taught and played with them. It has been our biggest concern as we were leaving.
As far as the move is concerned, we signed all the final documents with the movers only moments before church began. I really hated missing my final time to practice with the choir, but time did not permit. At least we were not late for the service.
At the cake and coffee event following the service there were some sad goodbyes, lots of hugs and remembrances. It is humbling to see how God has allowed us to bless those around us as well as to be blessed by them. God really is good! And we do not take for granted that those friendships are forever. That is part of the “welcome” nature of Heaven. Our Lord will be there and so will our friends and loved ones.
After all that was over and we had cleaned up sufficiently, Pastor Fisher came to the apartment to get the couch we had given them. Getting it out of the apartment was not too big a chore. Getting it into the house proved more difficult. We had to take down the gate on the driveway, take off the door closer on the screen door and prop it open, remove the back door and the door to the basement stairs.
It was not too much trouble to accomplish except for the one screw (That’s how it usually happens.) that would not come out of the base for the door closer on the screen door. We had to break it which thrilled Ethan to death. When the screwdriver came out he was excited and ran to get his own so he could help. When the hammer came out he was ecstatic. “Daddy break it!” Papa Tim break it!” Each thing that came apart only excited him more.
“Mommy look! Daddy break it!” “Yes Ehtan, but Daddy and Papa Tim will put it back together.” “Come my room break it!” “No Ethan we don’t need to take your door off.” It took all his Mommy could do to get him out of the way as we prepared to take the couch down the stairs. As soon as we were down in the basement, so was he. Putting things back together was a little anticlimactic for him, but he watched the entire process.
I worry how soon he will apply the knowledge he gained that night.

The Couple’s Retreat, Beginning the Move

Friday and Saturday (Oct 22 and 23) Mama and I were away on a couple’s retreat with the church. It included as a main event seeing the production of Joseph at the Sight and Sound Theatre. Also included in the itinerary was a trip to a smorgasbord in nearby East Earl, PA for our lunch/dinner Friday afternoon.
We drove ourselves to the event since the movers were scheduled to come to the garage and begin loading the things stuffed in there on Friday afternoon with the apartment to be packed beginning on Saturday morning. Another part of the retreat itinerary were sessions with Bro and Sister Penechetti who pastor a church in central Philadelphia. They were delightful. I will have to write about those meetings later since I have misplaced my notes.
Mama and I do not usually do buffets because we do not normally eat enough to justify the expense of the entry price, but since it was part of the trip we went along and ate too much with all of our companions. After all, it was the last weekend we had to spend with that part of our family before relocating to far away Texas.
We left after a morning meeting at the hotel Saturday and got back home about 1pm Saturday afternoon. Chase was glad to see us since he had held down the fort for the first part of the packing and loading. Besides that, he and the Frenandez boys were out of money and hungry.
We were relieved that the beds would be left for packing on the truck until Sunday which meant we could get at least one more good night’s sleep before they disappeared. Since our bed is a little different, I had wanted to dismantle it myself to ensure it was done properly and carefully. We were up very early Sunday morning to get ready before the movers arrived and I got the chance to get the bed taken apart before we left for church.
Sunday night we elected to stay on airbeds in the apartment rather than going to a motel since we would be late at church for a “goodbye” there and the apartment would still need to be cleaned before we left it to the staff to prep it for re-rental. It turned out to be a good choice since I had the pleasure of packing more than could possibly fit into the little van for its last trip out of New Jersey.
A good portion of the finality of the move has not hit me yet since it feels more like vacation than relocation. I will be more in tune with the idea when we leave Hot Springs our way to Amarillo, TX.
At that point, I will have a whole new set of tasks to set to work on.

Saying goodbye to Jake

Jake has been a part of our lives for over five years and it is one of the hardest goodbyes that we have had to say – especially for Mama. It happened today as his mother picked him up at our apartment for the very last time.
He spent the night with us last night and missed school today so he could spend a few hours with Mama Kim one last time. She also wanted him to go to church with us one more time before we left and Wednesday night is a good time to take him because of the special program we have for his age group during the Adult Bible study. It surprised me that he was very aware of the parting that was coming between him and Mama Kim.
One of the things that has endeared him to Mama Kim and I is his tenderheartedness and his thoughtfulness towards others. It is never more apparent than when he is with his Mama Kim. I could barely get close to her for his insistence on being as close to her as he could stay throughout the time they were together.
He kept bringing up little things that bothered him – and that he knew would worry Mama Kim too; who would get him on half-days at his school, who would come to his special events when his Mom was working, who would keep him during his brother’s boring football practices.
To watch my wife snuggle him and smother him with kisses as he pretended to concentrate on his DS game or the television was comical. Both of them knew they would miss it when this time was done. So they made the most of it together. Every time Mama Kim would sit down, Jake would slide in close and lean into her. I would have made a game of it but it was too serious a moment between them.
When his Mom came Thursday afternoon he was clearly not ready to go; he was thirsty, he hadn’t eaten dinner yet, could she come back in a couple hours?, etc. Then the planning began. He would simply fly down to see Mama Kim. So he walked over to the calendar we have on the wall. After a moment of study he pointed to a set of days in November and announced. “I can go here because we don’t have school.” Incredulous (Mocking, of course.) his mother scolded, “So you will leave me during Thanksgiving?”
Undeterred he flipped the page and offered a compromise. “Alright, I can go here.” “Jake, that’s Christmas!” “Well Mom those are the only days I have off from school.” Mama Kim and his mom were both laughing but it was not funny to Jake so we promised to Skype each other. “Then we can see each other!” Mama Kim offered. “Yea, but I can’t touch you on Skype.”
Mama Kim and Jake’s mom both cried on that one.

The first shall be last

We have been picking up the Hottenson boys after school for several weeks now and they are very accustomed to the routine. So now and then we have to change things up just to keep life interesting. Since the three boys are naturally competitive there is often an unconscious competition at almost every level: who gets out of the building first, who sees Mama Kim first, who sits where in the van, etc, etc, etc.
Sometimes the competitions are promoted and since Chase could not motivate the boys to get their stuff together and get to the car one afternoon, he decided to promote one. And the boys responded to the challenge. They jostled and pushed each other jockeying for position, hurrying to get to the van with their stuff.
Once they were all seated and counting coup, Chase announced that the real winner was the last person in the van, which changed the victor to Tony from Carlos – who bemoaned the loss with the classic, “That’s not fair!” Everyone had a good laugh from it and the afternoon continued with the usual competition on the Wii, which I still have trouble relating too since one person can be deeply offended by the egregious behavior of one virtual character against another when that behavior is the obvious intent of the game in the first place.
Anyway, it seems that the plan may have backfired since the following day each of the boys was deliberately lagging behind in case the same rules applied. Of course, Mama and Chase thought that was more hilarious than the previous day’s outcome.
Andrew, interestingly enough, learned through the experience that if he is in the middle he always comes in second whether it is the first who wins or the last. Which means that though he has not won the competition, he has always beat someone – better to be second than last, especially when you are the youngest.

Feeding Babies, “I still love you.”

I got to spend one of my days off helping Mama watch a two month old little girl. She is going to be with Mama one morning a week until we leave so her mama can keep ties with her work as a veterinarian in a nearby office. It was the first time she had left the infant with anyone and she was justifiably nervous.
It was little trouble since she slept peacefully in her car seat until after 11 a.m. When she woke she was hungry. That’s when the adventure began. I had already warmed some frozen breast milk (the “golden” kind according to my granddaughter) and Mama had ensured it was the proper temperature for the needed meal.
The child was quite unhappy with the nipple of the bottle her mother had provided us with. She was mad, very mad since she was used to the more fleshy kind of nipple. So the juggling began. We searched the apartment high and low for a replacement to the only bottle provided and found nothing so we headed out to the store.
As long as we kept her moving, she would settle down and wait whether the movement was on the way to the car, in the car, or in the grocery cart. So I kept her moving as Mama scoured the shelves for the type of bottle and nipple combination that struck her as right. Several packages were not-to-carefully opened to verify the contents and she finally settled on one – trusting her gut. (I am no nipple expert in general so I deferred totally to Mama.)
We got home with the new bottle, sterilized it and the nipple – which was described to me as “more like the real thing” although I refrain to say it struck me as such, and thawed more “golden” milk. After only a moment of struggle the baby latched on and began to feed greedily. Mama, true to form said, Oh, Honey! I want to cry!” The baby did not finish the entire two ounces before she started to spit out the nipple, but it was a rewarding success.
The mother, when she came to pick up her child and heard the story, was thrilled. Her husband, Mama was told that night at church was ecstatic since he had, to date, been unsuccessful in feeding his daughter. I assume he knows there is a fundamental equipment difference between him and his wife.
Later that night we went to a third birthday party for our little Victoria. She goes to school now and we do not get to see very much of her at all; which is sad for us because she always was such a joy to us during the almost three years we had watched her. She met us with her usual enthusiasm and as she hugged Mama she reassured her by saying, “I still love you!”
Mama’s influence is greater than we will ever know, but it is nice to be reminded – especially by a pure heart.

Ethan and BJ

Mama has been watching Ethan Fisher one day per week unless his mom needs some extra time without the distraction a nearly two-year-old can cause. Concurrently, she has been puppy sitting a very young Yorkie for a neighbor of ours. The dog is small enough to sleep in one of my shoes and has very nearly fit neatly under one or the other of them as I took him out to use the grassy areas to relieve himself.
As I was working at my computer the other night he backed himself up against my foot and snuggled in. It was a little unnerving. An animal that small has to have extremely quick reflexes to stay alive, so every time I moved the dog would shoot away like a rat, evaluate the danger and move back into a newly snuggled position against my foot. Not the most comfortable arrangement for me.
Ethan loved the dog, so much so in fact, that we had to keep a constant eye on his interactions with the frail eighteen ounce animal. I have never understood the tendency of girls to pinch and boys to hit or strike at an animal – especially a small one. Ethan was no different so we had to get him past his inherited nature in order to spare the dog. Once that was done he adopted the dog as a child to him in a manner of speaking.
Mama told me she came into the room and found him with the dog held in both hands being raised and lowered while he whispered, “Whee!” The dog was not enjoying the activity as much as he was. At least he was not tossing the dog up and down as his father would do him in their play.
Mama had to put a stop to that little game and the rescued animal ran to the bathroom and would have closed the door if possible. They made up later because just as it is impossible for a puppy to resist the attention of a little one, it is impossible for a little one to resist the attentions of a puppy.
It is a match made in Heaven – and that is fortunate since more than one puppy has ended up there for lack of supervision in that early play.

Moving from diapers to underwear, A different type of goodbye

One of my coworkers has a son that recently moved from diapers to underwear. He is nearly three and potty training was difficult since he regularly drinks ten to twelve glasses of watered down apple juice each day. What is good for his kidneys has been problematic for his bladder – and for those enlightening him on the proper use of the bathroom or anywhere else he might choose to release the volume of his bladder.
He has adopted the habit common to most young boys – and most rappers – of constantly holding his crotch. And unlike the embarrassment parents experience when seeing a teenager do the same thing, with little ones it is understandable and somewhat excusable. But it seems his son is excessively fond of the area and his father is constantly admonishing him about it. So he asked, “Why are you always doing that?” The answer was three-year-old simple, “I feel it.” “Of course you feel it. Now quit!” Whereupon the child ran off with his hand trapped between his legs. Isn’t parenting fun?
Mama and I are in the process of carefully saying goodbye. It is not like we have never done it before but that does not make it easier especially when we realize that we may never again see some of the people we are leaving behind, at least this side of Heaven.
Of course saying goodbye in this day and age is different than it was even eight years ago when we said our goodbyes to friends in Victoria, TX.
Today there is Facebook, Twitter, MSN Messenger, Skype, etc. So staying in touch is a matter of pinning electronic updates on an electronic wall or video chatting from computer to computer. And of course there are cell phones in virtually purse and pocket. As much as I dislike them we have grown so accustomed to them as a culture that their use is almost expected of every man, woman and child.
I am sure there are those who will not use such medium, even as user-friendly as it is, but our children will communicate with their children and we will be perhaps better informed on the daily events of each other’s lives than we are today although in a less personal fashion; Separated by distance, connected by electronics. What a world!
As long as Mama is near me I will do okay. I can only hope the same holds true for her.

The little things

Having accepted the job in Borger, TX we now begin the process of working our way through the little things that must happen to make the move work. The physical aspects of such a move are obvious – all our belongings must be moved so they are available to us where we are to resettle. How that will be done I can leave to the professionals at my company.
The problematic issues are many. What church do we attend? Where do we send our mail? What bank do we use at our new location? How do we find new doctors and dentists? What auto insurance company do we use in Texas? Can we find a good school for Chase? Getting our stuff transferred is the least of our worries. Restarting our lives in a new location is the real challenge. But we have done it before and I am certain we will do it again. At least this time it is far less complicated since we have only one child to worry over directly.
Mama has already made some preliminary calls and is beginning to put a plan together and sadly a lot of the “little things” will be left up to her since I will be learning a new job as soon as we arrive. We are using our contacts to find a good church and have already narrowed our search for living quarters – at least for a transition period of three or four months.
It looks like we will be heading to Amarillo, which will leave me an hour commute each way to work ever day. Sadly I am used to that since I have done about that for each job I have ever held – at least since West Virginia. We have always chosen to have Mama and the kids close to the things they need, which would leave me to travel whatever distance is needed to get to work.
I have never minded, but I am getting to the point that I would like to have my work closer to Mama or Mama closer to my work.
Maybe next time.