I was able to work from home this morning, which was nice since it was my birthday as well as the last day Nate, Cori and the kids were going to be with us. There is a class being taught today, but it was already assigned to one of my coworkers. Each morning I am able, I feed the goats in the two paddocks while Mama tends to the chickens and goats. Just after I got back in from helping Mama feed the animals, Cori and Victoria handed me a stack of birthday cards and a small package. I opened one of the cards and decided to wait until Mama and Savanna, her constant helper for the last week, were back in from completion of their duties tending to the chickens. To make the best use of the time, I went back to work.
After almost an hour, I began looking for Mama and Savanna. I
looked toward the coops. They were no longer with the chickens. They were sitting
in the goat paddock on the rocks the kids play on each holding one of the goat
kids. They were talking, laughing about whatever their conversation was cycling
around. With Savanna, it is always difficult to predict the forward path of any
conversation. I did not interrupt their private moment. We have so few of those
moments together with our children and grandchildren it is worth the wait to
allow either Mama or me to linger in that moment. It was nice to witness the interaction from
afar, only imaging the conversation. It made me smile.
We waited until Mama and Savanna came back in before I opened
the small box given to me. Savanna came to me at my desk and announced, “Papi,
we are waiting on you to open your present.” Imagine that. I thought I was waiting on them.
Turns out I was wrong. My present was a pair of Shokz headphones. They use a
bone-conduction technology, so they sit on the surface of the skin at the top
of my jawbone, outside the ear. The sound they produce is amazing, crystal
clear even though the ear is unused in hearing the sound the headphones produce.
They are light and easy to use. A perfect present. I am thinking about getting a
pair for Mama for her coming birthday. I let her try them and she loved the way
the sound came through them.
Last night we were included in a group text from Mike,
Rebekah’s husband. It was a sad, punctuation-less ramble of hurt, trying to
describe the oppressive loneliness he is feeling. Though I am sure he misses
Becky desperately, most of the loss centered around Bridgette. That is a loss that
I can at least partly understand since we lost a daughter when he lost a wife. The
loss of Bridgette, a jubilant child who occupied his focus in many ways is now
gone. She and her mama are in Heaven, but the weight of that grief in our loss
is still heavy. Mike’s sense of loss is potentially far greater since he does
not know the Lord.
We will get to see Mike Saturday. Mama, Victoria, and I are
going to drive over to Hot Springs to attend the memorial service for Becky and
Bridgette. Mama and I were planning on an overnight stay, but to accommodate Victoria,
who cannot get off Friday, we will leave Saturday morning, attend the service
and drive back home after the service. It will make Saturday a very long day
and perhaps bleed over into Sunday, but it is an opportunity that we do not
want to miss. I am not sure what to expect of that service, but I am trying to
keep an open mind so that we can participate freely in whatever we are allowed
to do to help say goodbye to Rebekah and Bridgette. Once those goodbyes are
done and we return home, we will probably have no contact with Mike. Not for
any reason other than we have no attachment to him since we have both lost
those persons who connected us. Time will tell how that relationship works out long-term,
but this weekend will more than likely be a goodbye to Mike as well.
The bags are packed, the flights are double checked, the COVID tests are certified as negative and final pursuit of the goat kids in in progress. We are crowding into the Sequoia to make the trip to the airport so that I can park the vehicle allowing us spend the last few minutes together in the airport before everyone gets into the security line to make their way to the flight home. It has been a wonderful visit. Grandma and Grandpa have both thoroughly enjoyed the full house we have shared together as everyone congregated to remember Becky and Bridgette. Only a few more hours together before our normal separation begins anew and our mundane, enjoyable life on the farm reassumes its usual, quiet pace.
That is partly sad, but mostly reassuring.
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