Rain, appointments, seeing the forest, training all week, eat to live

After promises of heavy rain over the weekend and into next week, we finally saw some raindrops begin to fall in the early morning hours Monday. The forecast is still for us to see up to three inches of accumulation today, but I do not have high hopes. Mama and I were not necessarily counting on the forecast being accurate, but we did forego watering both Friday and Saturday. By yesterday evening, our fig trees looked puny. Hopefully, we will get enough rain to revive them today. We shall see. At the very least it would be nice to have some rain so the inch of powdered dirt we have laying everywhere is wet down sufficiently to settle the dust we have constantly blowing. When the nanny goats walk toward their barn from any direction, they create a dust trail by dragging their hoofs through the powder. It is sad to watch.

Mama has appointments for both Grandma and Grandpa in Decatur this morning for some preliminary blood work the doctor requires. In addition to those appointments, Mama will be going with me to an appointment with a cardiologist this afternoon in Denton. Hopefully, Mama and I can make that visit on our own so we can spend the time alone together. Any trip to Denton requires a stop at Texas Tea, Sam’s and WinCo. With that in focus, we will stretch the two hours for the appointment alone, doctor time plus travel to and from, into about four hours as we shop just a little. After forty years of marriage, Mama is still my favorite person to spend time with – even if we just go grocery shopping.

That is one of the reasons that Mama and I are so disappointed by what is happening with Brittany and Andrew right now. Ten years of marriage is quite a milestone. Plenty of time to figure out the paths toward reconciliation for either party should those pathways be sought. Mama and I are praying about the situation especially on behalf of our grandchildren. Three precious, innocent lives are at stake, but the parents (one or both) cannot see the forest for the trees. They are focused inwardly with a horrifying intensity on what they feel they need. Wounding because they feel wounded. Seeking justification for thoughts and actions they know deep in their hearts are not right in God’s eyes.

I do not know if Mama and I will ever know the truth – the real truth. The truth only God knows. We just have to settle with whatever each party is willing to admit to as their part of the blame. The truth lies somewhere between those two sets of accusations. The result of choices made on both parts. Zoe, Sophia and Audrey are burdened with the outcomes of their parent choices, knowing that something is wrong but too innocent to understand why they are confused about things that seem so clearly right or wrong based on how they have been raised to this point. It is not about picking sides with either Brittany or Andrew. It is about being available should either of them need our help. It is about keeping in touch with our grandchildren, should we be allowed to do so, so they have that consistency in their lives. It is about being ready to pray specifically when we are made aware of the need to do so. It is about remaining on the outside as we allow God to work. Our opinions are irrelevant. This is between Brittany and Andrew and God.

My weeklong training continues this week starting tomorrow. So far it has been a good experience, especially for those new members of our workforce. From my perspective, it has been instructive since we have gone through a reorganization recently. I get to find out who is in what group and who is responsible for leading that group. Mostly, it has allowed me to rest my voice to the point I was able to lead the singing in the morning service yesterday for the first time in three weeks. I could not lead the music in the evening service because my voice was spent, but I am seeing marked improvements in both strength and power of voice.

Diet wise, I have succeeded by God’s grace in maintaining the low carb diet for a week now. Even with the snack cakes that have been piled up on our kitchen table and a church dinner Saturday night. I have lost six pounds so far and surprisingly have been less hungry over this week than in days past. Less prone to snack as well. When I looked back and calculated my carb intake before I started counting and limiting the carbs I eat, I was shocked by how many carbs I was eating daily. No, really, I was shocked. There were some days just prior to the doctor’s visit that kindled this urgency that I could add up over 350 to 500 carbs in a single day. My average intake was bout 300 carbs per day. At my age, my body was revolting, and my pancreas was not able to manage the load. Hence the very high blood sugar. That alone will keep me counting carbs for the rest of my life. Even if, at some future point I can increase my carb intake, I imagine I will have to stay at 150 per day or lower. Oh well, as I told Mama the other day, it is only food, and I can learn to eat to live.

So far, I have actually enjoyed it.