Best intentions, “No” is an answer, Spin vs. Honesty

It is sometimes awful how things done with the best of intentions are misunderstood in such a way as to not only be embarrassing, but often downright shocking in the outflow of accusations and gossip. But such is life. I do my very best to avoid the obvious situations that could lead to that kind of outcome, but sometimes there are individuals who are, for whatever reason, primed and ready to think evil of us. (It is frightfully easy to find fault.)
There are times, however, when, even though we have convinced ourselves we are not at fault in any way, we would have to admit to being less than honest with ourselves and others. For instance, our children would come to me asking for something and, not liking my answer, would then go ask Mama hoping for a different answer. We scold our children for such deceptiveness, yet we often practice it among ourselves, tending to surround ourselves only with those who agree with us rather than those who challenge us.
I think this is the underlying reason some people have such a difficult time raising kids – and enjoying it. It is very challenging. It never stops challenging a parent. The challenges change as the interactions change. I am willing to admit that I can be wrong, that I do not know everything, and that I cannot see the outcome of every decision made. If only my children were also willing to do so. I enjoy being a father, but the debate part of the job wears me down.
My father told me many years ago that if someone needed an answer right now, the answer was “No!” My children do not like it any more than I do, but “no” is an answer – just the one we do not want to hear. So when I am asked to make a quick yes-or-no decision, the answer is “no”. Give me time to consider it, hear the reasons and the reasoning behind it and the answer might change.
I think of myself as being fair, but I, like most people, can give myself too much credit. It is my wife whom the Lord very often uses to put me back in my place. But I am still wrestling with what my daughter is choosing to do. It is not a bad thing. That would be too easy. I am not anywhere near thinking that it is the right thing. It is too sudden, too many open loops, too many unanswered question, too open to too many bad consequences with zero accountability to anyone. I see her personal safety and spiritual growth at risk.
It is exacerbated by the fact that my daughter is the doctor of spin. Like most teenagers, there is very often more to the story than what is being told. There is also a history of poor decisions made quickly and quietly – with devastating consequences. I love my daughter and I trust her - mostly. I also want her to trust me.
Pray for me that I would have the wisdom needed to be the father I want to be.