English made difficult

During a rather lengthy meeting yesterday the person giving one of the presentation struggled terribly with certain words. The problem was that the words she was struggling with were part of almost every definition she had to read from the procedure we were reviewing. The procedure had to deal with our response to spills into waterways, particularly “navigable” waterways. In more than thirty attempts to get the word out properly, she missed on all counts. What made the situation even more hilarious is that more than half the people who tried to help her could not say it either.


I guess it’s a North Texas thing. Different regions struggle with different words. Some of my good Cajun friends slaughter the name of the Northeastern state of Massachusetts. The sound they are taught for the word is closer to “Massatoosetts” and I have to assume it is taught that way in school because almost everyone from that area that I have known says it the same way. Much like their use of the word “srimps” for what most of us call shrimp.

Two other words that were difficult were “tributary”, which came out more like “tribaturry”, and “particularly vulnerable”. I cannot think of a way to phonetically convey that phrase, but it is close to “particly vulnerbal”. It put me in mind of the exchange students we have had in our house and the fact that they learned English from us. We were not the only ones who provided a home for foreign students during which time they learned English. I smile when I think of how some of those students went back to their home countries fluent in “English”.

I think of Jake and his very pronounced “Mama Kim” accent; fortunately Jake’s mother thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world. I think of my grandchildren and the Southern accent that they are speaking with - which I think is cute. This is in spite of the fact that my daughter and son-in-law have very little accent to their speech. My mother, who fought us adopting a Texas accent during our years of growing up here, would cringe. Secretly, I think she adores it in her great grandchildren.

This must be true of every language group in the world. I am told by native speakers that my Spanish is Castilian in verbiage but is accented like those of Northern Mexico; which makes sense since I learned it in a South Texas High School. A friend in New Jersey, who grew up speaking Gujarati in central Africa, was speaking the language to a person who grew up in India (a “native” speaker) and she was amazed by his accent – personally, I could not tell.

I am confident that at this point in my life I am fluent in multiple dialects of English and have had, on multiple occasions, to translate English to English. It is a delightful experience to help people communicate in their native tongue.

During the meeting I spoke about earlier, the conditions of the roads that morning came up. There had been a freezing rain the night before and the temperature was below 20 degrees. The Safety leader told the group that she had tested the road conditions and that they really were bad. One of the jokers in our group asked “Is there a Safety Approved way to test the road conditions?” “Sure is” she replied. “Just make sure the intersection is clear as you approach, slam on your brakes and see how much you skid.”

My advice, “Children, do not try this at home. Leave this to the experts!”