School, flare up

Yesterday was Mama’s first day back at school. I am not sure how long she will try to work there but it is certain that after her next knee surgery (coming up on the 18^th of September), she will not be able to sit comfortably at the desk they have for her in the classroom. I am not sure she is able to sit comfortably now, but she is trying. She enjoys the time spent with the kids and she enjoys the classroom atmosphere, the fun facts that she picks up from the kids learning materials, the interaction. But her availability is going to be limited. For now, she is going to work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of each week. She still goes to physical therapy on Monday and Friday. I enjoy meeting her for lunch. It makes a good halfway point in both of our workdays - and I get a hot lunch So, we will enjoy it while we can. She has four weeks before her surgery, from which time I expect her to be out through at least November; possible through the end of the year.

As far as her recovery is concerned, she is talking about spending a few days in rehab after the next surgery – if insurance will pay for it. Since we are already $14,000 in the hole for this surgery, I am not looking forward to adding that much more to the financial load. But, what can you do? Mama and I have heard stories about how much a few days of rehab promoted the recovery after knee replacement surgery. We want to avoid having the knee manipulated several weeks post-op. Like we are having to do with this one. We have only a short 27-day period to get all this lined up and hopefully sorted out. Since the next knee is her right knee, her ability to drive herself around will be far more limited than she has experienced with the left knee rebuild. It will take a great deal more networking to get her where she needs to be after the surgery and the therapy offered at rehab could speed the recovery process.

I admit to being stressed out about it. It is not a conscious awareness of the stress, but it is there none-the-less. Emotions running the gambit from “God is bigger than our need” to being so overwhelmed that I feel like I am being crushed. From “Thank you Lord for being so near to me” to “Why do I feel like I am all alone in this?” There are so many we are praying for that are going through so much more than the small trial Mama and I are fighting through, I am often ashamed at my lack of faith. Faith always wins out. Even when I do not see the answer, I know God will glorify Himself though our situation if I continue in faith. Eventually though, the stress catches up to me and I have to deal with it. “Oh, ye of little faith.”

Case in point. Yesterday evening was not a good time for me. After I spent some time getting feed barrels filled up and making sure all the animals had water, I sat at the kitchen table to cool off for a few minutes before getting our laptop out. I had planned on Mama and I working our business for a couple hours. Mama and I have not spent much time on it since we got internet at the house –about six weeks ago. We have given an hour here and there, but we need to get more involved in it. Even though the auctions we have been preparing for are out of reach for now, there is still a lot we can do. Sadly, that did not happen last night because my plans were fouled by technical difficulties.

When I tried to log into my Mac, it would not recognize my password. I have purposely not changed it since I bought the computer, so I am not sure what happened, but it would not let me in. My emotions were pretty raw to begin with, but that really irritated me. (One of those times when the stress caught up to me.) I slammed the computer closed and went outside to work until the anger abated. That took about two hours. By that time, I was a sweaty mess and it was too late to do any research. So, I took a shower and go the laptop back out to see if I had been locked out for a specified time after too many failed attempts. Fortunately, Apple has a backdoor for access to their devices when a password is forgotten – or has been changed by some unknown force. The prompts finally popped up onscreen and I was able to reset the password through iCloud. That process took about thirty minutes in total; after which I had to rebuild the desktop so the files we need to access were obvious – in case Mama ever tries to work at this on her own.

So far that has not happened, but it might soon.