The Couple’s Retreat, farm updates

It took me until Saturday night to really unwind from the week of training I had in Victoria. It was good to see everyone that I did get the chance to see but it was a very intense week. Getting home to Mama was a big relief. It just took me all day Saturday to figure out how to relax and begin to enjoy I again.


Mama and I went to the second of two days of a Couples Retreat on Saturday. Victoria went along also as the only single there, but she enjoyed it and I think she learned a lot of starters. It is amazing to me how clueless some people are about relationships – not that any of the people there fit that bill, but just in general. There was nothing new presented, but it is always good to be reminded to keep the focus straight; God first, Mama second, and everything else shifted as needed to keep priorities in order – because they constantly change as situations arise.

I have never feared putting Mama’s needs ahead of my own because I always knew that she put my needs ahead of hers and she is always more generous toward meeting my needs that I am. I hope my generosity extend the same way towards her.

We watched a set of twins years ago and their father asked me when I thought it was going to be “my turn” to get some of the things that I wanted – time to fish and hunt, a nicer rifle, etc. I was working hundreds of hours a month overtime just to stay ahead and meet the needs of my family and extended family. I told him I was not looking for “my turn”. This was my obligating, my duty, my calling and my first love. If I ever got a turn to have some of my more egocentric desires met, it would come from someone else’s generosity, not from my selfishness. He was divorced a year later. Mama, in speaking about the day of the couple’s retreat, said that it seems we are falling more in love every day. I’m glad for that. I wish I had started that earlier. It has great rewards.

I sent off the revised contract on the farm today; annotating the changes since our original offer. Once it reaches the bank the loan process will begin and we could be closing very soon. The official closing date has not been set but the prospective date is for the 12th of August. I told Mama that I am buying her a farm for her anniversary this year. Who knows what it will be for our thirtieth - next year?

Grandpa is so excited about the prospect of getting there he is having difficulty getting through the day-to-day routine of life, but we will all endure. We have to figure out living arrangements for those who will go to the Bowie area ahead of ma and Mama: Grandma and Grandpa especially. It will take a few weeks to get the house livable but there are campgrounds that rent campers by the month without a long term obligating. We are looking into that, but all our rental contracts go through the end of the year and the one we have for Grandma and Grandpa is pretty iron clad. It will have to be paid out in full even thought Grandpa would like to apply some of the money he spends in rent to equipment. Patience!

Mama and Grandma are wrestling with what to call our farm – something with a religious context. Grandma has always wanted to call a farm “Glory Land Way”. I am resisting the idea since to me it is a business. It is a little like putting a “Honk if you live Jesus” sticker on your car. Though in principle the idea appeals to me, it can work out poorly in practice – especially if it angers you to have people honk at you.

My files simply call the property Van Bebber farm – but that won’t last.