Memory, or not

Have you ever put something away in a place where you were sure you would never forget it? And then did? I cannot count the times I have done that very thing and it is often touch and go as to whether I can remember what my reasoning was for choosing the “place I would never forget.” In fact, I am sure there are still things I have put in safe places that I have yet to rediscover. Such a moment happened to Mama yesterday.


She called me in a panic asking if I had a flyer she and Grandpa had gotten at a local feed store. As luck would have it, it was the last one they had in the store and she could not find it anywhere in the house. It spelled out the planting schedule for just about everything we wanted to put in the garden this year. She and I both remembered looking at the flyer/brochure as I was eating dinner over the weekend – or one evening last week. Since then no one has seen it. Since I trust her memory over mine (on most occasions) I told her I would look in my stuff to see if I had picked it up. I did not have it. She and Grandpa were both very disappointed.

She called me some hours later to tell me she had found it; right where she remembered putting it. It was in a booklet that she and Grandpa have been keeping on our garden – hence the reasoning for putting it there. They recorded planting and harvesting dates for our garden last year and are continuing the practice this year. She was laughing at herself over the lapse of memory and the recovery of the pamphlet. Grandpa was relieved.

On a different memory note, I have remembered events that, when I relate to Mama, she is sure never happened. She is so sure in fact that I begin to doubt myself. But as I struggle with the details of the memory (that may or may not have happened), she will suddenly remember, correct one or two minor details and refresh my memory. Making that connection is the difficult part. I feel vindicated and confused at the same time during those rare successes in cognizance.

Over the thirty plus years we have been married we have shared millions of memorable moments and each of us has a slightly different take on those occasions. I have found that if I do not get certain details correct in the recounting, she will not connect to the occurrence of the event in her cache of data. But the opposite can also be true. She can have vivid memories of which I have no recollection, at all – even when she goes into great detail. I am sure I have slept since then.

Boy, do we have a future to look forward to.