Cowering, planning, confliction needs, my Mom and Dad

Since Mama was not feeling well and there were predictions of severe storms we did not go to church last night. Mama is terrified of traveling in the rain, much less a storm. The rains did come last night but not until after midnight; which would technically make it today. Neither of us felt we had made the right choice not to go to church. That will not happen again.

I am thinking about taking off tomorrow so I can have two full days to work on the apartment. The biggest challenge is that I am out of money. I still need several items to do final completions but those purchases will have to wait until next payday. There is still plenty to do without the final items in hand so I will study on it today and see what the best course of action would be.

Grandpa is planning on cutting the hay on Saturday so it will be ready to bail on Monday. The fields look a lot better this time than when he first cut them several weeks ago but there still will not be many bails. I am guessing there will be one hundred or so. Our initial expectation was that the large meadow would produce between three hundred and fifty and four hundred bales of hay when fully developed. If we exceed one hundred this cutting I will be very pleased, but at least we are getting something for the effort and seed we put in them.

There is an expectation that I will buy the AgGrand fertilizer so we can spray it on the fields, but I will not be able to do that for some time. For me, the apartment and shop need to come first. I am not sure that is the way Grandpa sees it but that is the way I need to go for now. The fertilizer is about the same price as a ticket for Mama to fly to Alaska – so you can see the straight I am between.

I see no change in the balancing struggle for at least the next three years. As we continue to develop the farm and the many building programs that will require compete with the attention Mama and I want to give to our children and grandchildren we are going to wrestle with the strain of meeting expectation for both needs. Family will come first, but it will still be a case by case decision what can wait or be given up to meet each immediate need.

The sizable and money hungry projects on the farm will eventually be done so there is a point in the near future when the decisions will not be so conflicting, but that is not where we are at the moment.

I called my Mom and Dad last night. Mom is doing much better. She is up and around but gets tired out pretty quickly. Dad says there is a lot filling in of tissue still to come as she heals from the open heart surgery. She says she feels much better but is definitely sore – all over. There was a sense of joy in their voices as is talked to them. That is what I was most thankful to hear again.

Our new bodies are on order and we will be occupying them soon.